IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone’ life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?/

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Nowadays, advertising surrounds us which is hard to abandon in part of human
life
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. Advertising is a positive part of a person`s
life
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 said to a group of
people
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. In my opinion, there are some advantages and disadvantages which I will write them in my essay. Usually, we can see advertisements in daily
life
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 online or in a newspaper that represent many useful items.
For example
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, when
people
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 search on the internet they can observe some international online websites like Trendyol, Amozon, and Temu. One can choose what is best and how can be useful in their
life
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. So that, those activities make
people
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`s lives easy and they can save their time. On
this
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 ground, advertising plays a role person`s
life
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 rather than other activities.
On the other hand
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, sometimes turns boring and makes
people
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 dependent on them which if do not need to watch and get . They will do it for addicts.
For instance
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, statistics describe that
,
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apply
show examples
 those who observe and follow advertisements, generally do not need them 90 so, they can get them for interest.
Also
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,
this
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 process can imitate humans it is not enough. When they buy them they will be happy.
Thus
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,
people
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 can spend a huge amount of budget on them or use credit cards from the government. All in all, there are some benefits which save time and pick up the best one. Of course , If humans use them at balance.
Otherwise
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, it can cause some of the unnecessary items that, are not used in
life
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.

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introduction conclusion present
The essay has a general structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the introduction could be clearer. Try to start with a clearer statement of your position in relation to the topic.
logical structure
The logical progression of ideas is a bit muddled. Ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next and that there is a clear link between the points made.
clear comprehensive ideas
Make sure your main points are clearly stated and sufficiently supported with relevant examples and explanations. This will improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
complete response
Avoid unnecessary repetition and ensure that your main points remain focused and concise. This can help in making your points stronger and clearer.
supported main points
The essay presents both sides of the argument, addressing the advantages and disadvantages of advertising, which is good for a balanced discussion.
relevant specific examples
Relevant examples such as the mention of online websites like Amazon were included to support your points, which helps in making your arguments more concrete.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • informative
  • engages
  • creative
  • art form
  • consumerism
  • materialism
  • misleading
  • exaggerating
  • vulnerable
  • unrealistic
  • body image expectations
  • competitive
  • economical
  • targeted ads
  • personalized ads
  • intrusive
What to do next:
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