Some people think the manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give ypur opinion.
Some believe that the number of packaged
products
should be controlled by manufacturers and shopping malls; others, however
, think that it’s people
’s responsibility
not to purchase wrapped products
.
On the one hand, manufacturers and supermarkets have a much higher chance to reduce the number of bought packaged items as they have more power in this
matter. Producers or distributors can simply cut the number of products
being sold in packages on the market from the start so that people
have no choice but to purchase the unwrapped version. Doing so can greatly benefit not only the environment by saving it from unrecyclable plastic but the
enterprises Rephrase
also the
as well as
they can save some money on the wrapping.
On the other hand
, many believe that humanity should take responsibility
for buying only unpackaged products
and avoid the wrapped ones. Not trusting enterprises is a logical decision and I believe that people
should be responsible for their actions instead
of passing the buck on producers. Nowadays, however
, the majority of people
are less conscious of their actions and may not care enough about saving the environment by continuing to buy wrapped goods. Therefore
, in my opinion, relying only on people
’s responsibility
is too risky as many of them find the wrapping really convenient and are not ready to sacrifice their comfort to save nature from plastic.
Taking everything into consideration, it is my conviction that though people
have to take responsibility
for their actions such
as purchasing packaged products
, right now many people
are much more unreliable in this
matter than producers or shopping malls. The manufacturers or distributors can control the supply of wrapped products
themselves so that consumers have no other choice but to buy what they are offered, which I believe is more effective.Submitted by arinatiutina on
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coherence cohesion
While your essay presents a basic structure, there could be a clearer progression of ideas. Your introduction and conclusion are present, yet they could be more impactful. Work on crafting a stronger thesis statement and summarizing your points more effectively in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but additional supporting examples and details would strengthen your argument. Aim to include more specific evidence that reinforces your statements.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task with a clear position throughout the response. However, ideas could be more fully extended and developed. Ensure that both sides of the argument are explored equally and your opinion stands out clearly.
task achievement
You have provided some relevant examples, but these could be further elaborated. To enhance your score, include more specific examples that are directly related to the points made in your argument. The inclusion of these examples will show a better understanding and application of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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