IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

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One of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increase in online shopping has been gathering momentum across the world in recent times. It completely disagrees,
however
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, individuals go to their favourite market because they meet friends , which is better for their mental health.
This
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 stance will be proven by carefully analysing online shopping cannot close the showroom and cities.
Firstly
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, product quality can be checked physically. When we visit the city or shopping centre for shopping, we look around the number of markets and look at good products and their quality.
Moreover
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, we can request discounts and different varieties to choose from. Sometimes on websites colours show different
due to
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 bad picture qualities.
For example
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, if the customer goes to the supermarket to buy clothes, he can match his choice as compared to online, we do not have options to check it face- to face and the fittings of the items.
As a result
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, it is evident that online shopping cannot be beneficial as compared to shopping in-store.
Secondly
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, emotional attachment, when purchasers go to their favourite places, they are physically and emotionally connected to deli owners and staff members and feel mentally and psychologically strong.
For instance
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, visiting an electronics store , when the end user goes to the technology shop to buy a mobile phone, at the same time he looks around at other gadgets and can make up his mind for future purchases. They get knowledge about newly launched products and play with new devices to check speed and quality.
As a consequence
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, it is apparent why online shopping cannot replace retail shops and cities. In conclusion, it may be good to shop online to save time but you cannot make relations with society and shopkeepers.
Further
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, it is recommended that a visit to the traditional market gives shoppers mental satisfaction and psychological benefits.

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task achievement
Ensure a clear introduction that directly addresses the question prompt. Include a thesis statement that clearly states your opinion on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Make use of cohesive devices such as pronouns, conjunctions, and discourse markers to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Develop paragraphs with a clear main idea, supporting it with specific examples and details that are directly relevant to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures to enhance readability and demonstrate language proficiency.
task achievement
Conclude the essay with a summary of the main points discussed and reinforce your opinion on the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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