Some people get a chance to choose between life without work and spending most of the time working, then they would choose not to work. Agree or disagree?

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since time immemorial, occupation and leisure have become an indispensable part of humans' lives.

although

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some prefer to choose unemployment, I believe that a career is of great importance in individuals' lives for some reasons that are going to be argued in

this

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essay. To commence with, professional pursuits can provide one with a structure and plenty of goals conducive to a meaningful life.

For instance

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, teenagers select to pursue their education in certain fields and try to move in parallel with their goals.

Thus

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, not only can

careers

Use synonyms

channel individuals' personal lives but

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can

also

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instil motivation in them leading to psychological virtues

such

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as self-contentment. Another justification can be the financial vexations that can associated with unemployment. To illustrate, in the present climate, it is of great importance to have a well-paid job to afford the high expenditures of life

otherwise

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one would be deprived of even basic facilities

such

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as a healthcare service or proper education.

Therefore

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, professions are of great significance for more welfare.

On the other hand

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, some argue that those who have no

careers

Use synonyms

can dedicate their time to hobbies that suit their passion. It is,

also

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, opined that these groups can experience less stress and pressure linked to

careers

Use synonyms

leading to maintaining good physical and mental health. I,

however

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, find myself in disagreement with them as the majority of individuals need money to be met and

this

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will not be achieved unless, with an income source, jobs are the main source in most of the cases.

In addition

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, vocational

careers

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are capable of enhancing physical well-being, as well. In conclusion, it seems rational to accept that not only are appropriate professional pursuits infallible precursors to more welfare but

also

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they can be incentives.

Submitted by samirakasraee72 on Thu Aug 22 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain coherence.

task achievement

Clarify your stance in the introduction more explicitly to strengthen the essay's overall argument.

task achievement

Try to avoid overly complex sentence structures, which can sometimes obscure your intended message.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

supported main points

Each argument is adequately supported with relevant examples and explanations.

task achievement

The language used is formal and suitable for an academic essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

291 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

constraints of employment
immerse
personal fulfillment
enhanced relationships
work-related stress
professional achievements
financial insecurity
societal backlash
cultural expectations
identity and worth

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Some people get a chance to choose between life without work and spending most of the time working, then they would choose not to work. Agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

It is often suggested that schoolchildren should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. What are the advantages and disadvantages? Do you think that advantage of this outweigh the disadvantage?

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture. We can learn as much as from books, films and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?