In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of this. How can we deal with those causes

Due to
the rapid growth of technology, the world has come a long way there the lifestyle of people has changed a lot but everything comes with a cost in the devolved world different
type
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types
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of crime still take place which
cause
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causes
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many problems like bullying , theft , suicide, murder and many more yet the worst part is we don't have strict punishment against
this
crimes because of the number of crimes increasing day by day which is very concerning . In the upcoming monograph,
i
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I
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will not only shed light on the possible reason behind these crimes but
also
the solution we can follow to stop these happening .
Submitted by shyamal017 on

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task achievement
Your essay needs more relevant and specific examples to effectively support your points. Try to provide concrete instances or evidence related to each cause and solution you discuss.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay is logically structured. Consider breaking down the text into clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific point or idea, to enhance readability and comprehension.
task achievement
Work on making your ideas clearer and more comprehensive. Elaborate more on each point you bring up, explaining it thoroughly to ensure the reader understands your perspective.
coherence cohesion
Although the introduction is well-formed, make sure to write a conclusion that effectively summarizes the main points discussed and reiterates your stance on the issue.
task achievement
Your essay attempts to address the task, identifying the problem of increasing crime rates and indicating you will discuss both causes and solutions.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction has a clear thesis statement and sets the tone for the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic disparity
  • propensity
  • recidivism
  • deterrent
  • rehabilitative
  • judicial system
  • corruption
  • socioeconomic
  • alienation
  • stigmatization
  • decriminalization
  • enforcement
  • gentrification
  • preemptive measures
  • intervention strategies
What to do next:
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