Statement: Some people prefer to develop a large social circle, whereas others prefer to have a few close relationships. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is desirable
by
some to have an enlarged Change preposition
for
circle
of people
to interact with, while
there are others who think having a small circle
of closest friends
and family members is the best. In my opinion, I believe having less
Change the quantifier
fewer
people
around is good for developing deeper emotional connections, although
there are increased opportunities
in engaging
with many Change preposition
to engage
people
.
On the one hand, networking is an advantage as it brings along many opportunities
in different aspects of life. People
can share their views, learn from others and develop their communication skills. For instance
, engaging in social networking groups such
as church cells can help people
to expand their knowledge on
their religion and they can get spiritual support from other members. Change preposition
of
Moreover
, there can be job opportunities
as a big circle
can consist of recruiters or people
with links which is a great benefit.
On the other hand
, having a small social circle
is important for developing deeper emotional connections. It is very easy to build trust and loyalty with few
close Correct article usage
a few
friends
and these can be readily available in times of need to provide support in any way. Unlike with many friends
, few friends
can understand you better, knows
your ups and downs and can assist you without judging. Correct subject-verb agreement
know
For example
, keeping close your relatives and a few friends
who can always check up on you and put your happiness first is priceless, something a larger group cannot do.
In conclusion, although
a large social circle
is good for creating increased opportunities
, I believe keeping only close friends
and relatives around is good for developing deeper emotional connections.Submitted by sisalt100 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay contains a coherent structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, but a slightly improved logical progression would enhance it further.
Task Response
While the response is complete and comprehensively covers both views, a few more specific examples could strengthen the arguments further.
Language Use and Style
Consider varying the vocabulary and sentence structures to improve fluency and readability of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and present, providing a good framework for the essay.
Task Response
The main points are supported with relevant examples, making the arguments stronger.