In some countries, citizens must pay a lot of money in taxes, but education and healthcare are free. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages
In some parts of the world, residents are obligated to pay substantial taxes; despite that, the government covers the costs of
education
and healthcare services. Although
it can be burdensome for the citizens, it would be beneficial for individuals because those services are essential for individuals. In this
essay, I will discuss why the positive sides far outweigh the negative sides of this
situation.
The prominent advantages of this
condition are education
and health
a primary factor in increasing the quality of life. If we require an acceptable amount of money so that the authorities can offer us free access to education
and health
for a lifetime, it is worth it to do. People can get equitable services and treatments and it can reduce the inequity in society. As a result
, it can enhance the economy and the health
rate of the residents. For example
, the cost of treatment for chronic ailments like heart disease is very expensive in Indonesia. If these costs are not provided by the government and the individual can not afford it as well, then
it can lead to death. However
, in different cases, many individuals can be cured without the need to think about the cost.
On the other hand
, the coins have two sides. One primary adverse consequence of this
tendency is the increase in the amount of money required to pay the tax and it would burden the taxpayers. Moreover
, it also
potentially leads to the risk of government inefficiency in raising the quality of education
and health
system
due to
lack of competition in the market. As a result
, the education
and healthcare system
would grow slowly and not have many improvements year by year. For instance
, in Indonesia, the authorities issue a free education
system
from elementary to high school
. However
, the quality of the public school
is not as good as private schools that need to pay. The public school
is a bit behind in part of curriculum and practical learning. Consequently
, many public school
students do not have the same opportunities as private school
students such
as exchange students with school
abroad.
The increased amount of tax to get a free education
and healthcare system
has virtues and drawbacks and in this
essay, I discuss both of them and consider everything. In conclusion, I am inclined to say that, overall
, the benefits of this
phenomenon are better.Submitted by nurulfitriakamilah on
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coherence cohesion
You demonstrated a level of organization for your essay, but there is room for improvement. Your main points could benefit from clearer connections and more fluid transitions to help the reader follow your argument more easily. Using a variety of cohesive devices and paragraphing techniques will enhance coherence.
task achievement
Although you addressed the task, expanded on your ideas, and provided examples, the examples could be more carefully selected and directly related to the topic to improve the overall relevance. Be sure that each example distinctly supports the point being made. It is important to ensure that every part of your response is focused on addressing the task prompt fully.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.