IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many cities, there is little control on the design and construction of new houses. Some people think that people can choose to build houses in their own style as the old house style in local areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

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In Some cities, they are implementing rules about designing and constructing new houses ,
while
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 many people believe that individuals can design what they prefer. In my opinion , I believe that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits for several reasons .
To begin
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 with , if all buildings have to be in the same shape and design , It would lead to losing the diversity and beauty inside the city .
For instance
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 , in some of
area
Correct your spelling
the
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Middle East, the government impose certain designs, which in turn make the area quite hideous .
In addition
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, the most crucial thing to consider is People's decisions , it is unfair to require some types of building , if they are not satisfied or comfortable ,
As a result
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,
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they will search for other regions to build what they love .
Moreover
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, the majority of foreign investors look for different and odd designs, because
this
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 is the main feature of making their business successful.
Therefore
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 inventors might find it an unattractive area to set up their own business , which is a good opportunity to boost the economy of any city .
For example
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 , part of Africa still builds the same structure, with 15 per cent investment
due to
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 the government conditions .
Nevertheless
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 tourism field may influence as well negatively , because people will not visit places with nothing special.
To sum up
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 , it is quite difficult to build whole new houses in certain designs
due to
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 the potential problems . So the downsides of the approach are over the upsides .

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task achievement
The essay should include more specific examples to support the arguments presented. Consider providing additional details or statistics to back up your claims regarding economic impact and tourism.
coherence and cohesion
Vary your sentence structures to improve the flow of ideas within paragraphs. This will enhance readability and keep the reader engaged.
coherence and cohesion
Clarify the conclusion further by summarizing the key points discussed in the essay. This will strengthen the closure and reinforce your opinion.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, stating that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits, which is important for task achievement.
task achievement
The use of examples from various regions (e.g., the Middle East and Africa) demonstrates an attempt to incorporate real-world contexts, which adds value to your arguments.
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