In some cultures, children’s are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Youngsters in many parts of the world are taught that they are able to achieve whatever they desire as long as they
work
hard for it.
This
essay will discuss what are the positives and negatives that
this
message carries. One of the main merits of
this
idea
is that it instils a strong motivation for
children
to succeed from a young age.
This
can help young people to have a clear plan on how to achieve their
future
goals and give them a sense of security by knowing what steps should be taken to reach their targets.
Additionally
, working hard from an early age teaches
children
how to be disciplined.
This
can reflect positively on their
future
adult life and help them to navigate challenging situations in the
future
by applying the methods they learned in their early lives.
Furthermore
,
this
idea
provides
children
with a sense of control over their own destinies by knowing that their path to succession is dependent on their
work
rate.
On the other hand
, there are a few drawbacks attributed to
this
message.
Firstly
,
children
might feel pressured by the
idea
that in order to succeed they should
work
hard from an early age.
This
can create a psychological burden and affect the general well-being of a child.
Secondly
,
this
mindset might lead to
children
living in fear of failure, as they might be convinced that they are the ones to blame if they fail to achieve their targets.
Finally
, youngsters might be missing out on doing normal childhood activities
such
as playing or socializing with their peers, owing to the constant pressure of having to
work
hard for
future
success. In conclusion, there are a few benefits to promoting the
idea
of hard
work
to
children
.
However
, there are a number of downsides that are worth mentioning as well.
Submitted by ramtariqh on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, cite real-life situations or studies where possible. This will give more weight to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Currently, the essay reads well, but some links between paragraphs could be more fluid.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential for a well-structured piece.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically structured, making it easy for the reader to follow the arguments.
task achievement
The response is complete, and you have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of the given idea effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Motivation
  • Ambition
  • Persevere
  • Setbacks
  • Self-confidence
  • Growth mindset
  • Dedication
  • Effort
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Feelings of failure
  • Neglect
  • Personal well-being
  • Burnout
  • Fixed mindset
  • Discouragement
  • Lose motivation
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