In some cultures, children’s are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children’s #children #message

Youngsters in many parts of the world are taught that they are able to achieve whatever they desire as long as they

work

hard for it.

This

essay will discuss what are the positives and negatives that

this

message carries. One of the main merits of

this

idea

is that it instils a strong motivation for

children

to succeed from a young age.

This

can help young people to have a clear plan on how to achieve their

future

goals and give them a sense of security by knowing what steps should be taken to reach their targets.

Additionally

, working hard from an early age teaches

children

how to be disciplined.

This

can reflect positively on their

future

adult life and help them to navigate challenging situations in the

future

by applying the methods they learned in their early lives.

Furthermore

this

idea

provides

children

with a sense of control over their own destinies by knowing that their path to succession is dependent on their

work

rate.

On the other hand

, there are a few drawbacks attributed to

this

message.

Firstly

children

might feel pressured by the

idea

that in order to succeed they should

work

hard from an early age.

This

can create a psychological burden and affect the general well-being of a child.

Secondly

this

mindset might lead to

children

living in fear of failure, as they might be convinced that they are the ones to blame if they fail to achieve their targets.

Finally

, youngsters might be missing out on doing normal childhood activities

such

as playing or socializing with their peers, owing to the constant pressure of having to

work

hard for

future

success. In conclusion, there are a few benefits to promoting the

idea

of hard

work

children

However

, there are a number of downsides that are worth mentioning as well.

Submitted by ramtariqh on Sun Aug 25 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, cite real-life situations or studies where possible. This will give more weight to your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Currently, the essay reads well, but some links between paragraphs could be more fluid.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential for a well-structured piece.

coherence cohesion

The main points are logically structured, making it easy for the reader to follow the arguments.

task achievement

The response is complete, and you have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of the given idea effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

8.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

Motivation
Ambition
Persevere
Setbacks
Self-confidence
Growth mindset
Dedication
Effort
Unrealistic expectations
Feelings of failure
Neglect
Personal well-being
Burnout
Fixed mindset
Discouragement
Lose motivation

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
The advantages provided by English as a global language will continue to outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree with this statement
Nowadays, the majority of countries are using the English language as an essential or second language. The English language may provide numerous benefits in the world such as facilitating communication between other countries easier compared to the past and improving the ability to think. In my opinion, this language might continue to overcome the negatives.
6.5
band
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Traditionally, children have begun studying foreign languages at secondary school, but introducing them earlier is recommended by some educationalists. This policy has been adopted by some educational authorities or individual schools, with both positive and negative outcomes.
4.5
band
With the scale of globalisation today, it would be of unquestionable benefit to have a single world currency. To what extend do you agree or disagree.
Different countries have different currencies based on locations, natural resources, and some other aspects. This differences can be barriers between those countries to do trading processes. Moreover, considering the scale of globalisation make the countries need each others. To address this problem, some people say that single world currency is needed to remove the barrier. I disagree with the opinion because that means the money is maintained by one country. This monopoly can benefit certain groups and different exchange rates for each currency can lead to problems.
7
band
Nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons? And what measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active or creative things?
In contemporary society, there has been a noticeable increase in the amount of television watched by children as opposed to previous generations, leading to a reduction in time allocated to active or creative pursuits, which has sparked controversy among the public. Although this issue can be attributed to numerous factors, some feasible measures can be considered to address it.
6
band
In some places old age is valued. While other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many people think that old age is important. However, others believe that the young generation is more vital. This essay shows showing youth age plays a crucial role in development and innovation.

In some cultures, children’s are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The advantages provided by English as a global language will continue to outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree with this statement

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

With the scale of globalisation today, it would be of unquestionable benefit to have a single world currency. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

Nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons? And what measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active or creative things?

In some places old age is valued. While other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.