IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that educational qualifications will always bring success in life. Other people say that educational qualifications do not necessarily bring success. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #qualifications #success #life
There is a high likelihood that educational qualifications will bring success in
life
 in terms of financial security and stability. In fact, research suggests that almost all high-
income
 earners have at least an undergraduate degree. It is easier for a qualified individual to secure and maintain a job which can lead to opportunities for promotions and pay raises.
Additionally
, these employed
individuals
 enjoy a steady source of
income
as well as
 other benefits from their employer which helps them meet their daily needs. Generally, well-qualified employees will
also
 win promotions and pay raises as they progress in their careers which can help elevate their lifestyle. Because of a steady
income
, these
individuals
 are better equipped to provide for their families. More qualified
individuals
 may
also
 have access to disposable
income
 which they can save or spend on discretionary expenses.
In addition
 to sustaining themselves, they can
also
 explore and develop their interests which may bring them fulfillment in
life
.
Therefore
, a well-qualified individual is more likely to be successful in their
life
 than someone who is not as qualified.
In contrast
, people who are not as educationally qualified can do well in
life
 if they have certain talents in fields including arts or trades. These talented
individuals
 can often out-earn their well-educated counterparts.
However
,
this
 is very difficult for most because of the fierce competition and lack of opportunities in these fields. An individual who is extremely talented and is able to seek out and capitalize on opportunities can be very successful,
however
, the odds are unfavourable. In my opinion, if a young person has not found where their passion and talents lie, they are better off earning academic credentials in order to make a good living. The
income
 earned would allow them to pursue different interests until they zero in on an interest that they can be successful in.
Submitted by nakuleshj1998 on

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task achievement
To strengthen the introduction, clearly state both perspectives on the topic before diving into your arguments. This provides readers with a roadmap of what to expect.
task achievement
While your arguments are well-developed, integrating more specific examples would make them stronger. This makes your points more compelling and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smoother logical flow between the two contrasting perspectives. Using transition phrases such as 'On the other hand' can help signal to the reader that you are presenting an alternative viewpoint.
logical structure
Your essay is well-organized and follows a logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
supported main points
You have clearly presented and supported the main points, providing a balanced view of both perspectives.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion and provides clear justification for it.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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