Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development

These days, a vast number of patients tend to use

alternative

medicines

and treatments as opposed to going to their doctors.

While

there are some benefits associated with traditional ways of treatment, I believe that the main drawbacks are more substantial. On the one hand, a potential advantage of

alternative

medicines

may be the lower price of them. Since

such

treatments are carried out by non-expert

people

, they are cheaper compared to conventional

medicines

Moreover

, herbal

medicines

and other drugs which are used in

this

method are affordable for most

people

Therefore

people

are turning to use

alternative

medicines

extensively. Another perceived benefit is that chemical drugs and modern

medicines

have a wide variety of adverse effects for their consumers.

Consequently

, patients prefer to avoid using them in their treatment procedures. Some

people

believe that traditional and herbal

medicines

are more effective.

On the other hand

, a primary disadvantage of using

alternative

medicines

is that many professionals who are serving in the healthcare system

such

as physicians, nurses and dietitians may derive out of business.

This

causes an increase in the unemployment rate and other negative consequences. A

further

drawback is that

alternative

medicines

are less likely to be efficient in the treatment of various diseases.

This

may bring about major problems for

people

and lead to irreversible damage.

For example

, research findings confirm that the consumption of a number of traditional obesity medications results in liver failure in the long run. On balance, it is true that

alternative

medicines

would seem advantageous under certain circumstances.

However

, in my view, its disadvantages in terms of effectiveness and rising unemployment rates override the advantages.

Submitted by maryam.nutrition1988 on Thu Apr 25 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Provide a few more specific examples or studies to support your claims, especially when discussing the negative aspects of alternative medicine.

task achievement

Be cautious with overgeneralizations, especially regarding the efficacy and safety of alternative medicines.

task achievement

Consider including a brief discussion on the importance of regulating and researching alternative medicines to ensure their safety and efficacy.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

structure

Your essay presents a clear structure with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion.

balance and reasoning

You effectively addressed both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view before stating your own opinion.

language use

Your use of a wide range of vocabulary to express your ideas is commendable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
You have decided to leave your current job even though you enjoy it. Write a letter to inform your manager of your decision. In your letter - tell the manager about your decision and the reason for it. - describe what you learnt in your current job - and ask the manager to write a reference letter to help you with future employment
I am writing a letter of resignation from my post in your company.
5.5
band
Some people that professionals, such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people argue that, certain professionals must work in the country where they obtained their training while others argue that, they should have the right to serve where they like. In this essay. I will analytically discuss both the views and come up with my own opinion.
6.5
band
In spite of many advances women have made in education and employment, they continue to be at a disadvantage when it comes to pay and promotion. In your view, what should be done to promote equality of opportunity for men and women in the workplace?
The discussion surrounding the issue of inequality in the workplace is continuously increasing. It is proposed that female employees still face the possibility of receiving unjust opportunities in terms of income and advancement despite their contribution. To foster equal opportunities, I believe that women should be allowed to handle more tasks, and their accomplishments should be considered as valuable as men’s.
6.5
band
Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Nowadays getting a good job is quite a tough task due to the increasing competition across the globe. While many would say that a university degree is an optimal way to attain a reputed job; however, others argue that having relevant experience and soft skills can be more rewarding. In my opinion, both statements go hand in hand.
5.5
band
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, the question of young people studying a second language from primary school has received a great deal of public attention. Although this suggestion is not without disadvantages, I strongly believe that the advantages will be far more significant.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people that professionals, such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In spite of many advances women have made in education and employment, they continue to be at a disadvantage when it comes to pay and promotion. In your view, what should be done to promote equality of opportunity for men and women in the workplace?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.