In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken?

#countries #weight #people #level #health #measures

Nowadays,it is undeniable that non-communicable diseases are one of the serious

problems

since the average weight of

people

is rising,

whereas

the level of

health

is facing a downward trend.In the following paragraphs,causes and some sensible solutions will be presented. The main causes of

people

health

problems

are a high-sugar diet and lack of

exercise

.The reason why the present diet tends to have more added sugar is the human brain's tendency to search for carbohydrates.Looking back when we were in the Stone Age,Carbohydrates were scarce.

In other words

, they are our precious food.

However

today caloric sweeteners are abundant,and our brains are still stuck in the past.

Consequently

people

consume carbohydrates more than the proper limit causing serious

health

diseases.

Additionally

,the modern lifestyle is not suitable for

exercise

since most workplaces are located in the office providing a few spaces to move.

In addition

,Long hours of work are the main problem for less

exercise

hours. To solve these

problems

,cooperation between each sector is required.

Firstly

, the government should increase taxes on added sugar foods forcing

people

less choose to consume and lower the price of a healthy diet.

In addition

,Government could provide more space for

people

exercise

such

as a park or gym.

Furthermore

,Individuals

also

have to participate in their own

health

promotion.They can aim to

exercise

at least 150 minutes per week and eat less sugar-added foods ,and they can encourage their acquaintance to have healthier lifestyles as well. In conclusion,The reasons for

people

health

problems

are eating sugar-added foods and lack of

exercise

.To tackle these

problems

requires cooperation between the government and individual levels.

Submitted by chawanat.pla on Mon Aug 26 2024

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coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence, consider using a wider range of linking phrases to connect ideas smoothly. This will help to improve the flow of your essay.

task achievement

Clarify how the increase in taxes on sugary foods directly leads to better public health outcomes, perhaps with examples from countries where this policy has been effective.

task achievement

The essay clearly identifies high-sugar diets and lack of exercise as major causes of health problems.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion effectively summarize the key points of the essay.

task achievement

The essay provides practical, cooperative measures which involve both government and individuals in solving the health issues.

Your opinion

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken?

Your opinion

People find it difficult to speak in front of the public or to give a presentation. How important is to speak well in public. Do you think children at school should be taught public speaking?

obesity has become an issue in some Western countries, especially among children. What are the reasons behind, and what effects does it have on individuals' life

"The internet has transformed the way we communicate and interact with each other. To what extent do you agree or disagree?"

Some people believe that young people should spend their time with family, rather than go to entertainment activities outsides the house. Some disagree. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.