In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken?

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Nowadays,it is undeniable that non-communicable diseases are one of the serious

problems

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since the average weight of

people

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is rising,

whereas

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the level of

health

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is facing a downward trend.In the following paragraphs,causes and some sensible solutions will be presented. The main causes of

people

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health

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problems

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are a high-sugar diet and lack of

exercise

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.The reason why the present diet tends to have more added sugar is the human brain's tendency to search for carbohydrates.Looking back when we were in the Stone Age,Carbohydrates were scarce.

In other words

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, they are our precious food.

However

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today caloric sweeteners are abundant,and our brains are still stuck in the past.

Consequently

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people

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consume carbohydrates more than the proper limit causing serious

health

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diseases.

Additionally

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,the modern lifestyle is not suitable for

exercise

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since most workplaces are located in the office providing a few spaces to move.

In addition

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,Long hours of work are the main problem for less

exercise

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hours. To solve these

problems

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,cooperation between each sector is required.

Firstly

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, the government should increase taxes on added sugar foods forcing

people

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less choose to consume and lower the price of a healthy diet.

In addition

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,Government could provide more space for

people

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exercise

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such

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as a park or gym.

Furthermore

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,Individuals

also

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have to participate in their own

health

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promotion.They can aim to

exercise

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at least 150 minutes per week and eat less sugar-added foods ,and they can encourage their acquaintance to have healthier lifestyles as well. In conclusion,The reasons for

people

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health

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problems

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are eating sugar-added foods and lack of

exercise

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.To tackle these

problems

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requires cooperation between the government and individual levels.

chawanat.plaMon Aug 26 2024

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coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence, consider using a wider range of linking phrases to connect ideas smoothly. This will help to improve the flow of your essay.

task achievement

Clarify how the increase in taxes on sugary foods directly leads to better public health outcomes, perhaps with examples from countries where this policy has been effective.

task achievement

The essay clearly identifies high-sugar diets and lack of exercise as major causes of health problems.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion effectively summarize the key points of the essay.

task achievement

The essay provides practical, cooperative measures which involve both government and individuals in solving the health issues.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

average weight
level of health
processed foods
calorie-dense
unhealthy fats
sedentary lifestyle
balanced diet
urbanization
fast food options
nutritional education
emotional eating
economic factors
convenience
streaming services
smart devices
transportation
mental health
stressful lifestyles
physical activity

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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken?

Your opinion

Someone says that job satisfaction is more important than job security, but others disagree. Discuss both views and address which one do you agree.

The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

An increased number of people today change their career and living places in their lives. Is it a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

How does Fitzpatrick demonstrate that a poem is a site of confrontations?