IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays more and more tasks at home and at work are being performed by robots. Why do you think it’s happening? Is it a negative or positive development?

#tasks #home #work #robots #it’s #development
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Thanks to modern technology, the majority of duties, either at home or at
work
, are given to
robots
due to
 their accurate function within a minimum number of mistakes with lower costs.
Although
 it could be argued as a negative development, I firmly agree that
this
 is one of the best inventions that
human
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humans
show examples
 have ever experienced.
Robots
 often benefit
AI
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from AI
show examples
 technology that
make
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makes
show examples
 them eligible to
work
 completely
accurate
Change the word
accurately
show examples
 with almost no
mistake
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mistakes
show examples
.
This
 is a positive point in
sesitive
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sensitive
 works
such
 as accounting. In the past,
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 accounting had to be done with mundane
calculator
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calculators
show examples
 or even with hands. Obviously, a
veriety
Correct your spelling
variety
 of errors were anticipated.
However
, by developing
robots
 and AI,
this
 responsibility is done by them and now, vital and important
tasks
 not only is done more quickly
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 highly accurate. Apart from that,
robots
 are able to do several
tasks
 simultaneously and
as a result
, It is no
loger
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longer
 needed
to
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for
show examples
 many
emploeeyes
Correct your spelling
employees
.
By
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With
show examples
this
 approach, the whole costs, either in homes in terms of
enegy
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energy
 and time or in factories regarding
to
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apply
show examples
decreasing the number of stuff, will
dramaticaly
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dramatically
decreased
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decrease
be decreased
show examples
.
Undoubtebly
Correct your spelling
Undoubtedly
,
developing
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development
show examples
 in technology and
robots
 would be considered as a beneficial development in recent decades. I think, by using AI, many
tasks
 can be done readily and humans have more extra time to do their
favourit
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favourite
 activities.
Furthermore
, it would be perfect to have an
assitant
Correct your spelling
assistant
 to do all
Correct article usage
the works
show examples
works
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work
show examples
 without any
mistake
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mistakes
show examples
 with
low
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a low
the low
show examples
 amount of money.
Vaccuming
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Vacuuming
,
for example
, seems to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
difficult energy consuming at home. If
robots
 do, it will be more
quilckely
Correct your spelling
quickly
 and cleaner.
Similarly
, at
work
, like
hospitals
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in hospitals
show examples
,
robots
 would
performed
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perform
be performed
show examples
 better as they can do
multi
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multiple
show examples
tasks
 based on their planning. Most of the time, the plans
is
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are
show examples
 deprived of errors. All of
being
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this being
show examples
 said,
robots
 have assisted
to
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apply
show examples
many people at home or
work
 as
according to
 AI ,
robots
 can do
dofferent
Correct your spelling
different
tasks
 accurately with no mistakes and
also
, cheaper. I wholeheartedly believe that
this
 development is positive
due to
 its beneficial points for society ranging from accuracy, being
reliable
Correct article usage
a reliable
show examples
 assistant, and its low cost .
Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on

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task achievement
Avoid repetition of phrases like 'accurate function' and 'no mistakes'. Try using synonyms or varying the sentence structure.
task achievement
There are a few grammatical errors and typos, such as 'sequitive works' instead of 'sensitive works', 'veriety' instead of 'variety' and 'quilckely' instead of 'quickly'. Proofread your essay for such minor mistakes.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should ideally contain one main idea. For instance, separating the discussion about home and work tasks into different sections might improve clarity.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses both parts of the question, explaining why the use of robots is increasing and whether it is a positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, presenting a clear argument and summarizing key points effectively.
task achievement
The main points are supported with relevant examples, like the use of robots in accounting and hospitals, which adds depth to the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • robotics
  • automation
  • revolutionized
  • industries 4.0
  • mundane
  • intricate tasks
  • technological advancement
  • accessible
  • efficiency
  • precision
  • economic factors
  • labor costs
  • dependency
  • quality of life
  • creative
  • strategic
  • interpersonal tasks
  • innovation
  • job opportunities
  • job displacement
  • digital divide
  • marginalized
  • environmental impact
  • disposal
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