You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#minutes #topic #phone #years #business #phones #forms

Recent advancements in technology have influenced our lives in various aspects, resulting in both positive and negative outcomes. Mobile phones are one of the most popular technological gadgets among individuals, which have changed our lifestyle and communications. As it is believed that they can be the source of social or health issues, in

this

essay some of these problems will be investigated.

Also

, the benefits and drawbacks of using cell phones will be compared. The most significant effect that

smartphones

have regarding medical concerns is their negative impact on our brain functionality. It has now undoubtedly been proven that the radio waves emitted from these devices interfere with the brain's neurological activities lowering its productivity in the long term.

For instance

, research has demonstrated that people who spend a lot of time using their mobiles are more susceptible to getting Altzimer disease in the future.

Moreover

, the unfavourable role of

such

devices in society should not be neglected.

Although

people noticeably benefit from these gadgets in their everyday lives, some devastating results should be revealed in order to control the average daily usage. One certain disadvantage of cell phones is that they have reduced the amount of close, intimate relationships. Before

smartphones

existed, individuals used to spend so much quality time with their family and friends, but unfortunately nowadays with the emergence of these devices, communications are getting remote and low-quality.

For example

, young adults tend to video call their parents

instead

of paying them a visit.

While

these demerits are inevitable, the outstanding merits of mobiles should not be missed. It is irrefutable that

such

tools have made our lives way more convenient from every angle. As an example, family members who are living far from each other, are able to be in touch easily.

Furthermore

, the level of public knowledge has increased remarkably

due to

easy access to data through

smartphones

In addition

, the role of these tools in monitoring individuals' health is

also

valuable. To exemplify, health monitoring applications which are installed on

smartphones

can be a great help to people who want to check their vital signs on a regular basis. All in all,

although

certain concerns exist about the disadvantages of mobiles in our social and physical well-being, from my viewpoint the benefits outweigh the drawbacks for sure. I strongly believe that if we learn how to maintain balance and not overuse these gadgets, there will be fewer problems and fewer worries.

Submitted by basri.fateme on Mon Aug 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

While the essay provides a complete response to the prompt, it can be improved by further elaborating on the examples provided. Adding more detailed evidence or data would strengthen the arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, which helps the reader identify the main idea of the paragraph immediately. This would improve the logical structure and coherence of the essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion effectively.

task achievement

The arguments presented are relevant to the topic and provide a clear discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones.

task achievement

The examples provided in the essay are relevant and help to illustrate the main points clearly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

407 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

erosion of face-to-face communication
social isolation
interpersonal skills
digital eye strain
mental health impacts
mobile phone addiction
anxiety and depression
prolonged screen time
remote work
global communication
economic opportunities
emergency situations
immediate assistance
broadcasting information
productivity and efficiency
information access

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The majority of people often said that when people used the cultural traditions as attract the citizen to make money,it will be destroyed.Others think that it is the best way to rescue the traditions.This author agrees with the latter choice and I will show both perspective in the following essay.
6
band
IBY, In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case?Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
In many countries, people usually have high expectations for owning a house，it is usually a symbol of stability and happiness in life. Therefore, most people regard owning a house as the most important part of life. In my opinion, I strongly agree with this point of view, this essay will explore the reasons for importance of people owning a house and the positive factors for it.
7
band
Formal examinations are the only effective way to assess a student's performance. Continual assessment, such as course work and projects, is not a satisfactory way to do this. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Education provides practice with a variety of methods to assess the performance of their students. Final exams are accepted as the most efficient method to evaluate a student's educational readiness as interim assessments such as use cases, group exercises and individual projects do not live up to the minimum requirements. It is my contention that formal exams alone cannot validate the reliability of test outcomes since a hybrid evaluation model is the most pragmatic and modern solution in this industry.
7.5
band
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?
Nowadays, youngsters are being told that if they try hard, they can fulfil every dream that they have. I believe the advantages corresponding to this issue are more considerable than the minor disadvantages.
<4
band
Some parents purchase their children a large number of minuature to play with.What are the advantages and disadvantages for the kids of having lot of toys.
Plenty of parents acquire their child loads of toys. Toys might improve child's gross-motor skills, although pampering child would lead child having unpleasant personality. This essay agrees that advantages outweigh disadvantages.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

IBY, In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case?Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Formal examinations are the only effective way to assess a student's performance. Continual assessment, such as course work and projects, is not a satisfactory way to do this. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?

Some parents purchase their children a large number of minuature to play with.What are the advantages and disadvantages for the kids of having lot of toys.