You will go to a foreign country to stay there for one year, and you need a place to live in. You have decided to write to an agency for accommodation.

#country #year #place #agency #accommodation

Dear Sir, I hope you are in good health. My name is Ahtsham Wakeel, currently living in Multan, the city of the Islamic Republic Of Pakistan.

Last

year, I applied to three universities in the United Kingdom, to pursue my master's in " Public Health ". Two days ago, I received an admission letter from the university in Manchester City.

Furthermore

, I have been planning to move as early as possible. My purpose in writing is to seek help from you in relation to my accommodation. I have been planning to take my better half with me. So, I need to find a 2-bedroom apartment on a limited budget, which is 400 pounds only.

In addition

, I would like to mention two important points.

Firstly

, I need an apartment near to my university in Manchester. My concern is to save money by avoiding transportation. I would prefer to go by walk, that makes me healthy and refreshing.

Secondly

, I would like to play football in my leisure time. Try to keep the ground as near as possible to my accommodation. Anxiously waiting for your response. yours Faithfully, Ahtsham

Submitted by muhammadahtsham457 on Mon Aug 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

single idea per paragraph

To enhance the clarity of your letter, ensure that each paragraph addresses a single, specific idea or request.

coherence cohesion

Double-check for any grammatical errors or awkward phrasings to ensure smooth readability.

suitable writing tone

Polite and formal tone is maintained throughout the letter, which is appropriate for this type of request.

logical structure

Clear and logical flow of thoughts and requests throughout the letter, making it easy to follow.

greeting and closing

Effective opening and closing statements which appropriately set the tone and conclude the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

188 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Teenagers are prohibited to bring mobile phones to school. To what extend you agree or disagree?
The utilization of mobile phones is efficient depending on the activities. People use phones to surf through the internet, help them with their assignments, and update the issues that are happening around the world. However, it is not really appropriate to bring phones to school. Firstly, some schools apply paper-based teaching. That kind of process supports children to be more active in class naturally by doing discussion face to face, teamwork and improving analytical thinking skills. Imagine if they bring the phone, they would not put their effort to much to the learning process because they would think any kind of task would be solved by phones
6.5
band
The influence of human beings on the world’s ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. What are the primary causes of the loss of biodiversity? What solutions can you suggest?
One of the most imperative environmental concerns in the modern age is the extinction of species and the risk to biodiversity. It is widely believed that humanity should take responsibility for this problem. Although climate change and illegal human activities are negatively impacting wildlife, this issue can be addressed by the governments enacting regulations on poaching and by investing in more conservation programs.
<4
band
The mass media, including TV, radio and newspapers, influences our society and shapes our opinions and characters. What is your opinion?
It is not secret that social media and other kind of sources of information have gread influence to people beheviors and mind. I totally agree with this statement.
6
band
Some people think the main purpose of education is to make individuals useful to society; others say education helps them to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and fiver your opinion.
In this modern world, several communities think the main purpose of school is to make individuals help families and other populations say qualifications can help them achieve personal ambitions. I would like to explain and discuss both views on this topic. I believe that someone who has studied class will have a great opportunity to develop skills. In my opinion, culture is extremely important for a lot of society in life and can give them the best career in the future.
7.5
band
As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Research has shown that the percentage of internet users has risen sharply nowadays. Thus, many people have forgotten the existence of newspapers and choose to read the news on the Internet. Even though this phenomenon occurs, newspapers' value is difficult to be lost for numerous reasons.

You will go to a foreign country to stay there for one year, and you need a place to live in. You have decided to write to an agency for accommodation.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Teenagers are prohibited to bring mobile phones to school. To what extend you agree or disagree?

The influence of human beings on the world’s ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. What are the primary causes of the loss of biodiversity? What solutions can you suggest?

The mass media, including TV, radio and newspapers, influences our society and shapes our opinions and characters. What is your opinion?

Some people think the main purpose of education is to make individuals useful to society; others say education helps them to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and fiver your opinion.

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.