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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

9.Marriages are bigger and more expensive nowadays than in the past. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, young
couples
Use synonyms
 spend more money on
weddings
Use synonyms
 than previously. I believe there are some different reasons for
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon. First and foremost, young
couples
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 prefer to enjoy the moment
life
Change preposition
of life
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 and do not want to worry about the future life, so they are willing to pay huge money
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their wedding.
Secondly
Linking Words
, with the popularity of the Internet,
people
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 often share their
wedding
Fix the agreement mistake
weddings
show examples
 on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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. Other new
couples
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 can search and copy others’ marriages.
For instance
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,
Princess
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at Princess
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 Diana's wedding, various
people
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 copy their
Use synonyms
weddings
Change the noun form
wedding
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 decorations and ideas.
On the other hand
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, there are many wedding companies or wedding photography companies. They are keen on marketing how to decorate an unforgettable and unique wedding.
People
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 who are about to get married, are their target customers, and they
are
Verb problem
apply
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often
recommended
Wrong verb form
recommend
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 wonderful wedding
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
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.
The
Correct article usage
Last
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last
Linking Words
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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but not least, modern individuals prefer to organize travelling
weddings
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, particularly, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies have
long time
Correct your spelling
long-term
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 marriage
vacation
Fix the agreement mistake
vacations
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, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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 do not want to waste
this
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 good chance to enjoy their special time.
Therefore
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, they do not care
money
Change preposition
about money
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whether
Correct word choice
or whether
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 they can
afford
Correct pronoun usage
afford it
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. To be honest, a luxurious wedding has positive effects indeed.
For example
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, Princess Diana’s wedding dress was copied by a huge number of
people
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. Her wedding design affects fashion
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
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 and
attract
Change the verb form
attracts
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 visitors to travel to
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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.
However
Linking Words
, we can not deny that there are some negative aspects,
such
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 as environmental pollution by these wedding plastic decorations, wasting food,
traffic
Correct word choice
and traffic
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jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
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 because of lots of wedding cars. In conclusion, a wedding is a special activity for most new
couples
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.
Although
Linking Words
weddings
Use synonyms
become
Verb problem
have
show examples
 positive effects, We can not ignore those negative parts of human beings and the environment.

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