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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think if students are afraid of the teacher it is better. Others see that having a friendly relations is better. what do you think? Discus both points and give us opinion.

In the contemporary era, some individuals believe that if
students
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 are afraid of their teacher it
it
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is
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 better.
However
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, others argue that having friendly relations is better. In my opinion, it is a positive development. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both perspectives before presenting my opinion. To commence with, the advantage of being afraid of teachers is that they
instill
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instil
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 discipline and respect. Fear can motivate
students
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 to perform better academically and adhere to classroom rules.
This
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 perspective suggests that a strict authority figure creates a structured environment in which
students
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 are less likely to misbehave or fall behind in their studies.
For example
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, in schools,
students
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 are fear of teachers doing undisciplined behaviour.
Moreover
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, friendly relationships can enhance motivation and creativity.
As a result
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, friendly relationships can foster a positive learning atmosphere. Moving ahead, the disadvantages of fear can lead to anxiety and negative learning development.
Students
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 who are afraid may hesitate to ask questions or seek help when needed.
This
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 can hinder their learning process and lead to lower academic performance in the long run, as they may not engage fully with the subject matter.
Furthermore
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,
students
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 are not able to ask questions in the classes which leads to poor academic performance. In conclusion, a balance between authority and friendliness might be the best approach. Teachers can maintain discipline and create an inviting and supportive environment. Establishing clear rules and expectations
while
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 nurturing a caring relationship could provide
students
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 with the structure they need to thrive without fearing their teacher.

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task achievement
Consider providing more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments. While you mention the advantages and disadvantages effectively, specific examples would enhance your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs clearly delineate between different points of view. You could improve the transition between discussing fear and friendly relations by more clearly defining these sections.
coherence and cohesion
Check for minor grammatical errors, such as 'it it' in the introduction, to improve your overall language accuracy and flow.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and your opinion, providing a solid foundation for the essay.
task achievement
You offer a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which is key in addressing the prompt effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • discipline
  • motivation
  • anxiety
  • positive learning environment
  • engagement
  • participation
  • academic performance
  • supportive
  • structure
  • authority figure
  • creativity
  • enthusiasm
  • balance
  • clear expectations
  • nurturing
  • respectful relationship
  • fear-based learning
  • structured environment
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