IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries, people think owning a home is more important than renting one.Why is this the case? Do you think it’s a positive or negative situation?

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Nowadays, there is a dichotomy between individuals in society, in different countries, people tend to think and argue that being the owner of your apartment or cottage is crucial,
while
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 others prefer renting one. There are multifaceted and versatile circumstances for
this
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 issue,
as well as
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 detrimental and beneficial ramifications. Personally, I think that renting a house is not an appropriate option for those people who think about their future. First and foremost, as 21st-century human beings, we have a tremendous desire to feel safe and manage and control our lives efficiently. For
this
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 sophisticated issue, we work hard, save currency for purchasing our own area for living and
consequently
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 buy them. To cite an example, my family owns a cottage where we can live in a convenient place and design,
decorate
Correct word choice
and decorate
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 all types of furniture with our own taste, which is illegal in communal areas for living or even in renting homes. If I had experienced renting apartments it would be with a sense of anxiety and irritation that I could not relax and do my everyday routine tasks without overthinking.
Additionally
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, individuals should not deeply think and recognize the time when they should be active and make some natural noises.
Moreover
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, the feeling of safety tips the scale once and for all and renting something is not an option for wealthy and secure human beings. With regard to the possible consequences of owning a home, it is evident that there are overwhelmingly beneficial sides to
this
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 issue. Homeowners can decide everything connected with the environment of their area which they are posses, get pets, rules regarding noise and freedom to modify their estates
according to
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 their own tastes. With a fixed-rate mortgage, monthly payments of individuals remain the same throughout the loan term, unlike rent, which can increase annually.
Furthermore
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, it provides financial security and an enormous opportunity to inherit
this
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 for future generations as well. To summarize, it is noticeable that being the owner of your own space where you can do whatever you want is the preponderance of force and leads only to beneficial ramifications.

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task achievement
To enhance your task achievement score, ensure that your response includes a clear stance on whether owning a home is a positive or negative situation. While you mentioned that renting is not appropriate for those thinking about their future, a more explicit statement could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
For clearer and more comprehensive ideas, try to avoid repetitive phrases and ensure that each paragraph distinctly supports your argument. This will help in delivering a more coherent essay.
coherence cohesion
You can improve the logical structure by ordering the sentences and ideas in a way that each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting points that directly link to the thesis.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion does a good job of summarizing your argument, but making it slightly more concise and echoing your main points more clearly could be beneficial. This will help reinforce your stance and leave a stronger impression.
language
Excellent use of varied vocabulary, which enhances the readability and sophistication of your essay.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples to support your points, which adds depth to your essay.
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