Some people believe that government money should be spent on important things than arts such as painting and music. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Several citizens argue that rather than funding
arts
, the government
is better to use
Change preposition
off using
money
in
other things. Personally, I fully support Change preposition
for
this
idea because I believe that a nation has numerous sectors that should be prioritized.
In today's world, arts
seem to be more likely luxury products. Because of that, it is produced not for fulfilling the basic needs of humans. Thus
, it unmatchs
with the primary purpose of the Correct your spelling
matches
unmatched
government
which is to provide better live
for their inhabitants. Change the form of the verb
living
Instead
of spending a lot of money
for
painters or Change preposition
on
musicans
, the authority is better to focus on funding Correct your spelling
musicians
the
crucial things Correct article usage
apply
such
as spotting taxes to build public facilities and investing some budget on
developing Change preposition
in
educational
system. Correct article usage
an educational
Moreover
, the local councils therefore
should reduce the poverty rates through giving donations or establishing residental
areas in order to ensure that their citizens have well-life.
Correct your spelling
residential
In addition
, art products are usually displayed in the
fancy areas like in the Correct article usage
apply
lounge
of hotels or museums with Fix the agreement mistake
lounges
priecy
tickets. Correct your spelling
pricey
This
causes certain individuals can afford to buy and attend the exhibitions. In other words
, poorer people are unable to access them and it means that happiness produced by art worker
is only enjoyed by a few of Fix the agreement mistake
workers
population
. Correct article usage
the population
This
makes funding for art is
unnecessary because Unnecessary verb
apply
vast
majority of citizens can not have the same joy and it will result in unbalancing each Add an article
the vast
individu
.
In conclusion, I agree that Correct your spelling
individual
the
Correct article usage
apply
government
money
must be spent in
important areas Change preposition
on
such
as education sectors and public utilities than
Rephrase
rather than
arts
. Correct article usage
the arts
Besides
that, the joyful
Replace the word
joy
by
Change preposition
of
arts
can not be accessed by several people. So that
, it is not supportive Correct determiner usage
apply
if
Correct your spelling
of
government
gives Add an article
the government
money
to themSubmitted by hikmanurdin04 on
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task response
Work on enhancing the clarity and precision of your arguments. There are several areas where the ideas are a bit vague or not fully expanded upon. Be sure to elaborate more on your main points and consider counterarguments to strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Focus on reducing minor grammatical errors and improving sentence structure. This will help in presenting your arguments more clearly and make your essay more coherent.
task response
Consider providing specific statistics, studies, or real-world examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and well-rounded.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in presenting your ideas logically and coherently.
task response
You addressed the prompt fully and provided a clear stance on the topic. This is important for achieving a good score in task response.