IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people joint distance-learning program (study material, post, TV, Internet) and study at home, some people think it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is often believed that studying at
home
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 with the help of learning materials from TV and the Internet will not bring as many benefits as a
college
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 education. I partially disagree with
this
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, for
students
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 can access a wide range of resources to facilitate their understanding regardless of the fact that
students
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 are able to learn more integratively through practical lessons. On the one hand,
college
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 education cannot be replaced by
home
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 learning as it offers a more stimulating experience to increase the knowledge and skills of
students
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.
In other words
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, they are more encouraged to participate in practical studies with experiments in laboratories and fieldwork, from which they are able to ensure the validity of theories.
Furthermore
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,
students
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 in a
college
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 are able to gain immediate feedback from their conduct, leading to their growth of curiosity toward learning
as well as
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 the progress of their research.
Thus
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, those who attend schools are more likely to achieve outstanding academic performance as they incorporate various learning methods.
On the other hand
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, studying at
home
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 with the use of distance-learning programs allows
students
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 to learn in-depth thanks to
abundant
Correct article usage
the abundant
show examples
 materials provided by them. Indeed, there are a number of services that make individual study more motivating and engaging.
For example
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, people are able to participate in a discussion, where they can share their views with others and even have their essays corrected by professors using online platforms
such
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 as Study.com.
Thus
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, interactive lessons encourage
students
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 not only to reflect on their views but
also
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 to gain new perspectives. In conclusion, I somewhat disagree that distance learning at
home
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 is not advantageous
due to
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the
show examples
various educational resources available to promote the understanding of
students
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.
However
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,
college
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 education provides a more stimulating experience as they conduct more practical research and experiments.

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task response
Ensure that you directly address all parts of the question. Present arguments for both sides and make your stance clear. Expand on how distance learning might not benefit students as much as traditional learning methods, as well as explore how it might be better in certain ways.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay is structured well, try to use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to make your arguments even more accessible. Also, use linking words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to another.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your arguments effectively.
logical structure
You have provided logical arguments and structured them well within paragraphs.
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