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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

As the political and social conditions around the world are transforming, the trend of immigration is increasing day by day. What do you think what can be positive and negative impact of immigration?

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As the socioeconomic climate of the world shifts rapidly, more and more
people
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 are moving to different places.
Immigration
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 is at an all-time high, and it has both positive and negative implications.
This
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 essay aims to explore both its beneficial and detrimental impacts.
People
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 leave choose to live in another
country
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 for a variety of reasons. Better living conditions, more work/study opportunities, and even personal preference are just some of many motives. When migrants arrive in a foreign nation for labour and/or school, it creates a number of
healthy
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health
show examples
 benefits for that nation. There are lots of bright minds from all over the world, and
immigration
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 creates an opportunity for them to use their potential to the fullest. With access to better resources, international students cultivate innovation and research. There's
also
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 a pattern of migrant workers doing jobs that nobody else wants to do, and usually for cheaper salaries than national citizens. Take
for example
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 the USA, where nearly a third of blue-collar occupations are done by foreign-born
people
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. On the other side of the coin,
immigration
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 causes numerous issues in the destination
country
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. One of the major reasons
people
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 seek refuge is
due to
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 a hostile environment at home origin. Unlike work and study-motivated immigrants, asylum-seekers tend to do more harm than good after gaining citizenship. Many
refugees
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 from third-world
countries
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 are simply not used to the way of living in more developed
countries
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, and they tend to disregard the beliefs and culture of the
country
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 of destination. Taking a glance at the statistics, European
countries
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 are a hotspot for
refugees
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, and when you look at the news you see a plethora of distasteful acts being done by
refugees
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 in places
such
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 as the United Kingdom.
To conclude
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, I believe that
immigration
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 is beneficial when it directly contributes to the economy and development of the destination
country
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.
On the contrary
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,
refugees
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 seem to do more harm than good after immigrating, and
countries
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 should be stricter when accepting asylum-seekers.

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coherence cohesion
To further improve your coherence and cohesion, consider utilizing more varied transition words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
In order to strengthen your task achievement, provide a broader range of specific examples and evidence that support your main points.
task achievement
Consider developing your counterarguments to add depth to your discussion. This will make your essay more balanced and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay well with a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your arguments are logically organized and flow well from one to the next.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, such as the mention of the USA and European countries.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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