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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #illnesses #lifestyles #diets #health #care
In the changed scenario, the public has an illness
due to
 unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets. Awareness regarding food has become a necessity to lead a good life.
Although
 it has benefitted mankind in a plethora of ways, still some people are anxious about its adverse effects.
This
 essay will discuss all the pros and cons in the forthcoming paragraphs. Highlighting the advantages, the primary one which is worth mentioning is that Individuals ensure to eat healthy snacks and avoid oily meals and high-calorie feed.
Secondly
, exercise is a part of growth and the community does yoga, and meditation in the morning daily which can reduce stress and anxiety in a busy life.
Above all
this
, one more factor which adds to its popularity in today's generation.
As a result
, people are healthy practices in daily routines that can change their whole lives. Shifting towards its darker aspect it cannot be denied that it is a lot of junk food and a packed meal is already unhealthy but in a busy life schedule there is no other choice but to eat
this
 food.
Moreover
, it
also
 the community spends their time in the office in front of the desk and does not have any physical activity, which can cause many health issues. To aggravate
this
 situation, the factor which makes it worse is individuals increase their bills in the healthcare sector for the treatment of their disease. To elucidate, we can consider an example of some people sitting on the screen of the computer during working hours
then
 they do not care own health. In conclusion, since every coin has two sides, its merits are more than demerits. So, if used wisely consciousness about meals is essential to a better lifestyle and can be in one's favour.
Submitted by psingh8059 on

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Task Achievement
Make sure your introduction directly addresses the question asked. The introduction should clearly state your position on the topic.
Task Achievement
Increase the relevance and specificity of your examples. Providing more concrete examples will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure logical structure throughout your essay. Organize your paragraphs clearly around main ideas with logical flow from one paragraph to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include a clearer conclusion that summarizes your position and the evidence you've provided throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on supporting your main points more comprehensively. Each main point should be supported by specific examples or further explanation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • burden
  • lifestyle-related diseases
  • healthcare systems
  • personal responsibility
  • preventable diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • ethical considerations
  • penalizing
  • discrimination
  • socio-economic groups
  • deterrent
  • health education
  • financial penalties
  • health inequalities
  • access to healthcare
  • preventive medicine
  • public health goals
  • promoting healthy lifestyles
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