The table below show the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two period.

#show #numbers #visitors #ashdown #museum #year #surveys #visit #two #period

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The table illustrates

comparative

Add an article

the comparative

show examples

amount of Ashdown

Musuem

Correct your spelling

Museum

visitors

postrefurbish

Correct your spelling

post-refurbish

post refurbish

and

prerefurbish

Correct your spelling

refurbish

. Correspondingly,the pie charts portray the amusement of these

visitors

Overall

,there

had

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

been a remarkable increase in the number of

visitors

, reflecting the development of the museum's facilities.

Additionally

, the

statics

Correct your spelling

statistics

show examples

demonstrate a significant growth in the rates of satisfied tourists after refurbishment.

In contrast

dissatisfied

Replace the word

dissatisfaction

show examples

experienced a noticeable

drop.no

Correct your spelling

drop

response

remained

Correct word choice

and remained

show examples

constant within the given period. In detail, 12 thousand more people visited the Ashdown Museum after refurbishment reaching 92000

visitors

. The museum succeeded in attracting

visitors

and satisfying them, where the very

satisfied

Replace the word

satisfactory

show examples

rates were more than doubled, which jumped from 15% to 35%.

Conversely

, satisfied percentages were

halfed

Correct your spelling

halved

, dropping to 5% in the year after refurbishment.

Moreover

satisfied

Replace the word

satisfaction

show examples

exhibited a 10% growth, as it started

with

Change preposition

show examples

30% and ended up

with40

Correct your spelling

with 40

%. In terms of dissatisfaction, there was a dramatic fall, from 40% to 15%. It can be clearly seen that there was no change in

Rephrase

apply

show examples

response, which remained stable at 5%, generating the least proportion.

Submitted by jenakhalil07 on Thu Aug 29 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

170 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Describe some of the problems overreliance on cars can cause and suggest a possible solution.
These days we are depending much on private vehicles such as cars. This essay outlines the problems that arises from overreliance on cars including sedentary lifestyle that is the root cause of chronic illnesses and on the other hand traffic congestion on roads which is the main issue in big cities which is also a leading factor causing global warming and environmental problems. This essay will also suggest solutions to these problems such as using public transport, daily exercise and walk.
4
band
Some people believe that schoolchildren should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some individual think that teachers should not give homework to a schoolchildren while other opinion believe homehouse has an necessary practical ability in the education of children. In my view, homework is a ways of acquiring knowladge for children and has a benefits as well.
7.5
band
In some parts of the world, people have become more focused on themselves than their communities. What problems can this situation cause and how can they be solved?
Recently, in several places, the members of the public have become more concerned about their own private life rather than their surrounding population. This change has some negative consequences, such as an antisocial trend and global problems. This essay will elaborate on these problems and provide necessary solutions for resolving them.
8
band
People tend to work longer hours nowadays. Working long hours has a negative effect on themselves, their family and the society so working long hours should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree.
In the present day, individuals know that working continuously for a long period might negatively impact themselves. As a result, I totally agree with this argument that this action should be restricted in order to alleviate many forthcoming consequences which I will illustrate with some instances in the next paragraphs.
6
band
Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is argued that if an individual goes to a specific country where they have a distinctive language, there will be a number of difficulties for them, such as communication and other vital things.

The table below show the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two period.

Describe some of the problems overreliance on cars can cause and suggest a possible solution.

In some parts of the world, people have become more focused on themselves than their communities. What problems can this situation cause and how can they be solved?

People tend to work longer hours nowadays. Working long hours has a negative effect on themselves, their family and the society so working long hours should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?