The table below show the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two period.

The table below show the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two period.
The table illustrates
comparative
Add an article
the comparative
show examples
amount of Ashdown
Musuem
Correct your spelling
Museum
visitors
postrefurbish
Correct your spelling
post-refurbish
post refurbish
and
prerefurbish
Correct your spelling
refurbish
. Correspondingly,the pie charts portray the amusement of these
visitors
.
Overall
,there
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
been a remarkable increase in the number of
visitors
, reflecting the development of the museum's facilities.
Additionally
, the
statics
Correct your spelling
statistics
show examples
demonstrate a significant growth in the rates of satisfied tourists after refurbishment.
In contrast
,
dissatisfied
Replace the word
dissatisfaction
show examples
experienced a noticeable
drop.no
Correct your spelling
drop
response
remained
Correct word choice
and remained
show examples
constant within the given period. In detail, 12 thousand more people visited the Ashdown Museum after refurbishment reaching 92000
visitors
. The museum succeeded in attracting
visitors
and satisfying them, where the very
satisfied
Replace the word
satisfactory
show examples
rates were more than doubled, which jumped from 15% to 35%.
Conversely
, satisfied percentages were
halfed
Correct your spelling
halved
, dropping to 5% in the year after refurbishment.
Moreover
,
satisfied
Replace the word
satisfaction
show examples
exhibited a 10% growth, as it started
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
30% and ended up
with40
Correct your spelling
with 40
%. In terms of dissatisfaction, there was a dramatic fall, from 40% to 15%. It can be clearly seen that there was no change in
no
Rephrase
apply
show examples
response, which remained stable at 5%, generating the least proportion.
Submitted by jenakhalil07 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!