In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyle of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Over the
last
few decades,the eating routine and the way of living for children
has changed dramatically.In other words
,some people
think that children
used to eat more healthy foods in the past rather than nowadays.Also
,some people
believe that these varies has
had a lot of drawbacks for Correct subject-verb agreement
have
kids
health.I tend to agree with Change noun form
kids'
kid's
this
idea and in this
essay,I will present my own view with some significant reasons.
Some people
hold the view that the changing of
eating patterns and lifestyle for Change preposition
apply
children
might affect their health badly because of some momentous reasons in many countries.One of the most notable reasons is that kids
used to eat healthy nutrients because there was not much
junk food in the past as many Rephrase
as much
as
now.Correct your spelling
is
That is
to say,some fast food such
as burgers,sandwiches and French fries had not been trend
yet Correct article usage
a trend
in
some years ago.Change preposition
apply
However
,the majority of companies are advertising these junk foods in media
nowadays.Another striking reason is that parents do not literally notice their Correct article usage
the media
children
's diet.It is argued by some people
that they allow their children
to eat every think
regardless of its harmful fats or sugar.
I strongly agree with Correct your spelling
everything
this
opinion that bad dietary patterns may ifluence
on Correct your spelling
influence
kids
healthy.In my idea,a considerable number of Change noun form
kids'
kid's
children
has
changed their eating patterns and unfortunately got accustomed to Correct subject-verb agreement
have
eat
processed food recently.Clearly,fast foods are not only glamorous for youngsters,but Change the verb form
eating
also
they are delicious due to
their ingredients.Another reason for my agreement is that the eating habits and the way of life have changed because most children
do not have a healthy diet or a sport
routine anymore.Generally speaking,few Change the noun form
sports
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
kids
exercise regualry
in clubs and most of them have got used to Correct your spelling
regularly
regular
eat
more which leads to obesity.
Change the verb form
eating
To conclude
,there is no doubt that some people
think that dietary habits and lifestyle have changed for children
in recent years.As a result
,these unsuitable dietary habits and lifestyle
will remain unchanged unless parents do care about their Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
children
's healthy
and encourage them to eat more useful nutrients.Replace the word
health
Submitted by TUTOO on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To improve the essay further, provide more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. This will help to illustrate your points more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical connections between your points. Although the structure is logical overall, ensuring that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next will improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in maintaining the structure and organization of your ideas.
task achievement
The response addresses the topic effectively, providing a well-rounded discussion on the changes in children's eating habits and lifestyle and their impact on health.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example