Many people believe that the overconsumption of refined sugar is a major problem in the world and should be regulated the same as alcohol and tobacco. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the present day, refined

sugar

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plays an integral role in many edible products. Many people suggest that the overconsumption of refined

sugar

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leads to potential downsides similar to alcohol and tobacco and should be seriously regulated. I strongly agree with

this

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notion. In the following paragraphs, these negative impacts will be discussed before a conclusion is reached.

To begin

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with, there are many significant negative consequences associated with refined

sugar

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. One of the most serious effects is weight gain, starting from the constant intake of large amounts of

sugar

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, leading to obesity. Many studies have found that obesity has a significant link with other

health

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issues

such

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as hypertension, chronic kidney disease, osteoarthritis, and dyslipidemia.

Additionally

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, diabetes is another major concern, as it causes many complications, including diabetic foot, which can

consequently

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lead to amputation and high medical expenses for insulin and annual checkup programs.

Moreover

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, sweet addiction has a significant negative impact on most children and adolescents, leading to dental caries and unhealthy

behaviors

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behaviours

show examples

in the future.

Due to

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multiple

health

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problems

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, most people may have a shorter lifespan.

Therefore

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, refined

sugar

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can be considered even more dangerous than alcohol and tobacco.

However

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, if strict regulation on refined

sugar

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is implemented, it could have some drawbacks.

For example

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, many food and beverage companies

such

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as Coca-Cola, Pepsi, Nutella, and some brand-name chocolates will be negatively affected, leading to a decrease in productivity and an increase in unemployment, causing global financial

problems

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. In conclusion,

while

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refined

sugar

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brings various

health

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problems

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such

Linking Words

as obesity, diabetes, dental caries, and unhealthy

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

, regulating refined

sugar

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in many products could cause economic

problems

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However

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, the negative effects on people's

health

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far outweigh these economic issues if the government carefully manages them.

sippakorn.wetFri Aug 30 2024

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task response

Your introduction sets a clear direction for the essay. You provide a reasonable thesis statement that previews what your essay will cover.

task response

While you have provided strong examples and explanations, consider discussing potential counterarguments to present a more balanced view.

coherence and cohesion

The essay is logically structured and each paragraph flows well into the next. However, try using a wider variety of cohesive devices to link your ideas for even smoother transitions.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each main point is equally balanced. In the last paragraph, more attention was given to the drawbacks of regulation which slightly overshadowed the arguments against overconsumption.

task response

You effectively introduce the topic and outline your stand on the regulation of refined sugar, which immediately clarifies the essay's focus.

task response

You provide detailed and well-reasoned arguments, particularly when discussing the health impacts of refined sugar, which strongly support your thesis.

coherence and cohesion

Each paragraph logically supports the main argument, ensuring cohesion throughout the essay.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and reinforces your stance, leaving the reader with a clear understanding of your position.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

overconsumption
refined sugar
regulate
obesity
diabetes
heart disease
sugar addiction
consumer behavior
government intervention
economic impact
public awareness
freedom of choice
food labeling
healthier lifestyle
substance control

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Many people believe that the overconsumption of refined sugar is a major problem in the world and should be regulated the same as alcohol and tobacco. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, there are more television channels than ever before. Some people think this leads to more choices for television viewers. Others, however, believe this causes the quality of television programmes to decline. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and town, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

Completing university is the best way to get a job. while others believe that experience and developing soft skills is more important. discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that the government should spend money on treating ill people, while others believe that a better way is to invest in developing the country.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Modern transportation and shipping has made the world a better place to live. Use specific reasons and details to explain your opinion.