Some people think we need to give aid to all poor countries. Others, however, argue that we should not give international aid to countries with corruption in their system. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion.

#people #aid #countries #corruption #system

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It has been argued by some, that developed

countries

Use synonyms

should give a hand to all developing

countries

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, who need help and financial support.

On the contrary

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, others reject the concept of helping

countries

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which are suffering from a corrupted system.

This

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essay will present my personal opinion regarding both points of view. Commence with the first opinion, which opines that developed nations should give a hand to whoever needs it, regardless of any internal corruption.

In other words

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, they indicate that it is a must because it reflects the values and the culture of their people and shows the human side in every single individual towards poor

countries

Use synonyms

For example

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, Africa is well known that it suffers a lack of resources which has led to a deteriorating situation and poverty.

Therefore

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, nations and rich celebrities are keen to build shelters

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and establish schools and hospitals to tackle the detrimental effects on people. On the other side, others argue that international support could be stolen rather than given to those who are in need of

this

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money or the offered aid.

Although

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

I partially agree with

such

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an opinion,

this

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prevention

consequently

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could make the situation worse. In the sense that,

this

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action of preventing the political system, involved in corruption works, would not lead to an effective solution,

instead

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this

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would definitely increase the suffering of poor individuals.

To sum up

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, the aforementioned paragraphs have clearly shown both perspectives. Anyway, I consider conditional aid could be the optimal solution.

in other words

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, Any country that offers aid should send its own experts to control the humanitarian work it gives.

Submitted by nawartomry on Fri Aug 30 2024

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task achievement

The essay presents a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, but some points can be clearer and better supported with specific examples. To enhance Task Achievement, try to provide more concrete examples and expand on your arguments.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on maintaining logical flow. Each paragraph should follow a clear line of reasoning, and transitions should be smoother. For instance, transitioning between contrasting ideas can be improved.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction effectively sets up the debate and presents the writer's intent to discuss both points of view.

logical structure

The essays include well-defined paragraphs that make it visually easy to follow. The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and provides a clear personal opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Some people think we need to give aid to all poor countries. Others, however, argue that we should not give international aid to countries with corruption in their system. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Writing Task 1: The percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000

Many people believe that mobile phones cause more harms than the benefits and that’s why mobile phones should be restricted? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children’s time outside of school should be filled with scheduled activities such as art and music classes and sports. Others feel that children need free time to play and relax. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many children no longer read books and instead spend their time using modern technology. While some people think this is a positive trend, others think it is a problem. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.