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In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this

#countries #proportion #acts #teenagers
In recent times, research has indicated a concerning rise in criminal
activities
 among
teenagers
 compared to other demographics. In
this
 essay, I will delve into the underlying reasons for
this
 trend before proposing comprehensive solutions to mitigate its impact.
Teenagers
 are increasingly drawn to criminal
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
due to
 various factors. One significant influence is the proliferation of violent content in online video games. Exposure to
such
 virtual scenarios can cultivate aggressive tendencies, making them more susceptible to engaging in illegal
activities
.
Additionally
, a lack of parental guidance exacerbates the issue. As parents are often occupied with work, they may inadvertently neglect
providing
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to provide
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 adequate supervision and moral education to their children, leading them to seek validation in negative environments. To address these challenges, multifaceted solutions are imperative.
Firstly
, fostering real-life
activities
 for
teenagers
 is crucial. Engaging in
such
activities
 helps build a well-rounded personality and encourages social interaction, diverting them from potential criminal influences.
Furthermore
, parents must invest quality time in their children's lives, not only offering educational guidance but
also
 instilling values that deter criminal
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Finally
,
teenagers
 themselves need to be proactive in raising awareness about the consequences of engaging in illegal
activities
, empowering them to make informed decisions. In conclusion, the rise in criminal
activities
 among
teenagers
 is a pressing issue that demands attention.
However
, by promoting real-life engagement, enhancing parental involvement, and encouraging self-awareness, we can collectively steer young individuals away from the path of criminality.
This
 holistic approach holds the potential to effectively address and alleviate the current trend.
Submitted by lamdactuanga on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to provide specific examples that clearly support your main points. For instance, when discussing the impact of violent video games or parental neglect, you might include statistics or case studies that demonstrate the direct link to increased teenage criminal behavior.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, to enhance coherence, ensure smoother transitions between ideas and provide clearer topic sentences that directly relate back to the task question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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