In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this

#countries #proportion #acts #teenagers

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In recent times, research has indicated a concerning rise in criminal

activities

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among

teenagers

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compared to other demographics. In

this

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essay, I will delve into the underlying reasons for

this

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trend before proposing comprehensive solutions to mitigate its impact.

Teenagers

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are increasingly drawn to criminal

behavior

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behaviour

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due to

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various factors. One significant influence is the proliferation of violent content in online video games. Exposure to

such

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virtual scenarios can cultivate aggressive tendencies, making them more susceptible to engaging in illegal

activities

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Additionally

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, a lack of parental guidance exacerbates the issue. As parents are often occupied with work, they may inadvertently neglect

providing

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to provide

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adequate supervision and moral education to their children, leading them to seek validation in negative environments. To address these challenges, multifaceted solutions are imperative.

Firstly

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, fostering real-life

activities

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for

teenagers

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is crucial. Engaging in

such

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activities

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helps build a well-rounded personality and encourages social interaction, diverting them from potential criminal influences.

Furthermore

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, parents must invest quality time in their children's lives, not only offering educational guidance but

also

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instilling values that deter criminal

behavior

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behaviour

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Finally

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teenagers

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themselves need to be proactive in raising awareness about the consequences of engaging in illegal

activities

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, empowering them to make informed decisions. In conclusion, the rise in criminal

activities

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among

teenagers

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is a pressing issue that demands attention.

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, by promoting real-life engagement, enhancing parental involvement, and encouraging self-awareness, we can collectively steer young individuals away from the path of criminality.

This

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holistic approach holds the potential to effectively address and alleviate the current trend.

Submitted by lamdactuanga on Fri Dec 01 2023

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Task Achievement

Make sure to provide specific examples that clearly support your main points. For instance, when discussing the impact of violent video games or parental neglect, you might include statistics or case studies that demonstrate the direct link to increased teenage criminal behavior.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, to enhance coherence, ensure smoother transitions between ideas and provide clearer topic sentences that directly relate back to the task question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this

Fully explain your ideas

People say that it is a waste of time for highschool students to learn literature such as novels and poems. Do you agree or disagree?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world go hungry. why is this the caces? what can be done about this problem?

Students should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass exams, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. To what extent do you agree or disagree

In many countries, schoolchildren are required to wear school uniforms. ‏Do you think this should this be enforced in all schools?

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both veiws and give your opinion?