In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this

#countries #proportion #acts #teenagers

In recent times, research has indicated a concerning rise in criminal

activities

among

teenagers

compared to other demographics. In

this

essay, I will delve into the underlying reasons for

this

trend before proposing comprehensive solutions to mitigate its impact.

Teenagers

are increasingly drawn to criminal

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

due to

various factors. One significant influence is the proliferation of violent content in online video games. Exposure to

such

virtual scenarios can cultivate aggressive tendencies, making them more susceptible to engaging in illegal

activities

Additionally

, a lack of parental guidance exacerbates the issue. As parents are often occupied with work, they may inadvertently neglect

providing

Change the verb form

to provide

show examples

adequate supervision and moral education to their children, leading them to seek validation in negative environments. To address these challenges, multifaceted solutions are imperative.

Firstly

, fostering real-life

activities

for

teenagers

is crucial. Engaging in

such

activities

helps build a well-rounded personality and encourages social interaction, diverting them from potential criminal influences.

Furthermore

, parents must invest quality time in their children's lives, not only offering educational guidance but

also

instilling values that deter criminal

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Finally

teenagers

themselves need to be proactive in raising awareness about the consequences of engaging in illegal

activities

, empowering them to make informed decisions. In conclusion, the rise in criminal

activities

among

teenagers

is a pressing issue that demands attention.

However

, by promoting real-life engagement, enhancing parental involvement, and encouraging self-awareness, we can collectively steer young individuals away from the path of criminality.

This

holistic approach holds the potential to effectively address and alleviate the current trend.

Submitted by lamdactuanga on Fri Dec 01 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Make sure to provide specific examples that clearly support your main points. For instance, when discussing the impact of violent video games or parental neglect, you might include statistics or case studies that demonstrate the direct link to increased teenage criminal behavior.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, to enhance coherence, ensure smoother transitions between ideas and provide clearer topic sentences that directly relate back to the task question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people think that using mobile phones and computers has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, electronic devices are becoming more and more popular and they also bring lots of benefits to humans. Some people argue that reading and writing skills don't improve if individuals usually use mobile phones and computers. In my view, I partly agree with this opinion because of the following reasons.
<4
band
It more important for school children to learn local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Learning about history lesson whether it is local or world history is an essential part of learning process for school children. While some believe that learning local history are more crucial than world history, I personally convinced that both are similar as important.
7.5
band
Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Other say it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views.
Computer games were developed many decades ago, and people of all ages are interested in different software. Certain societies believe playing them has drawbacks for youngsters regarding well-being and social life skills. However, some people say it will benefit kids in the future. This essay will discuss both views, and children need to be monitored by their parents while playing it.
4
band
A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/unpaid work in your letter. Explain why you want to do voluntary/unpaid work a the museum Describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful Give details of when you would be available for work
I am writing regarding to the volunteer unpaid opportunity at the museum. Recently I migrated here and I am looking for part-time work for improving my English speaking skill and adapting with new culture. I have graduated in history in my country and I have good knowledge about historical events in the world, like one and two worldwide wars. And also I had a travel to Egypt last year and I visited their historical places and museums.
6.5
band
you have seen an advertisement from a couple who live in australia, for someone to teach their two children your language for a yar. writte a letter to the couple. in your letter explain why you think you would be suitable for the job say what else you could do for the family give your reasons for wanting the job
I am writing this letter to inform you that I saw the advertisement you posted in the job street application. I am interested in the position of teaching your two children to learn Spanish for a year since I'm currently in need of a job.

In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that using mobile phones and computers has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It more important for school children to learn local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Other say it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views.