Some people think that in modern society individuals are becoming more dependent on each other, while others say that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #society #individuals

Some

people

say that in the modern world,

individuals

are more independent of each other.

However

, I strongly believe that

individuals

are becoming more dependent. On the one hand, some

people

think that

people

today are becoming more independent.

This

is because

people

are INCREASINGLY taking advantage of technology and the internet.

For example

, by using Google,

INDIVIDUALS

can find most of the information they need WITHOUT RELYING ON support from others.

As a result

INDIVIDUALS

are becoming more and more self-reliant.

Additionally

, in

this

digital era, Generation Z is becoming more independent by establishing their own businesses through online shopping platforms, allowing them to avoid working for traditional employers.

This

shows that

individuals

today are increasingly independent.

On the other hand

, I believe that in

this

dynamic world,

individuals

are more becoming dependent on each other for some reasons.

Firstly

, to boost economic and social development, more extensive projects and businesses have been established.

As a result

, there is a growing emphasis on collaboration and teamwork, making

individuals

more dependent on each other to achieve common goals.

For example

, Apple, a company based in the USA, collaborates with a Taiwanese company to supply chips for their iPhones. Another reason is the increased prevalence of global challenges that have impacted the world, requiring mutual support and reliance among nations.

For instance

, during the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, many countries had to rely on vaccines from others,

such

as the US, the UK, and China. Without the support of these countries,

people

in other nations would have struggled to survive the pandemic.

This

example underscores the global interdependence among nations. In conclusion, some

people

think that in modern society

individuals

are becoming more independent of each other,

Correct word choice

but it

show examples

seems to me that

individuals

are becoming more dependent on each other.

Submitted by luantrat on Wed Aug 14 2024

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task achievement

While the essay provides a clear response to the task and includes specific examples, it would benefit from a more nuanced balance between the views discussed. Consider elaborating further on how modern society fosters both dependence and independence simultaneously.

coherence and cohesion

To enhance coherence, make sure each paragraph flows logically to the next. Introducing linking phrases or words can help improve the smooth transition between sections.

coherence and cohesion

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.

task achievement

The main points are well-supported with relevant examples and specific details, which strengthen the arguments presented.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

299 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

interdependence
globalized economy
collaborative work environments
crowd-sourced
empowered
perception
availability
autonomy
reliance
shifted

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Some people think that in modern society individuals are becoming more dependent on each other, while others say that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Across the world, local shops are closing due to losing customers to online competitors. What problems does this produce? And what solutions can you suggest to overcome them?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is predicted that robotsare going to become increasingly important in our lives. How could robots be used in the future? Will this development be a positive or a negative development?

Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while others argue that it is wrong. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Levels of consumer debt are increasing across the world. To address this, a new subject should be introduced in secondary schools: how to manage personal finances. To what extent do you agree with this statement?