Some people think that in modern society individuals are becoming more dependent on each other, while others say that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some
people
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say that in the modern world,
individuals
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are more independent of each other.
However
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, I strongly believe that
individuals
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are becoming more dependent. On the one hand, some
people
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think that
people
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today are becoming more independent.
This
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is because
people
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are INCREASINGLY taking advantage of technology and the internet.
For example
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, by using Google,
INDIVIDUALS
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can find most of the information they need WITHOUT RELYING ON support from others.
As a result
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,
INDIVIDUALS
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are becoming more and more self-reliant.
Additionally
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, in
this
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digital era, Generation Z is becoming more independent by establishing their own businesses through online shopping platforms, allowing them to avoid working for traditional employers.
This
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shows that
individuals
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today are increasingly independent.
On the other hand
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, I believe that in
this
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dynamic world,
individuals
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are more becoming dependent on each other for some reasons.
Firstly
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, to boost economic and social development, more extensive projects and businesses have been established.
As a result
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, there is a growing emphasis on collaboration and teamwork, making
individuals
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more dependent on each other to achieve common goals.
For example
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, Apple, a company based in the USA, collaborates with a Taiwanese company to supply chips for their iPhones. Another reason is the increased prevalence of global challenges that have impacted the world, requiring mutual support and reliance among nations.
For instance
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, during the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, many countries had to rely on vaccines from others,
such
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as the US, the UK, and China. Without the support of these countries,
people
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in other nations would have struggled to survive the pandemic.
This
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example underscores the global interdependence among nations. In conclusion, some
people
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think that in modern society
individuals
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are becoming more independent of each other,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
seems to me that
individuals
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are becoming more dependent on each other.
Submitted by luantrat on

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task achievement
While the essay provides a clear response to the task and includes specific examples, it would benefit from a more nuanced balance between the views discussed. Consider elaborating further on how modern society fosters both dependence and independence simultaneously.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence, make sure each paragraph flows logically to the next. Introducing linking phrases or words can help improve the smooth transition between sections.
coherence and cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples and specific details, which strengthen the arguments presented.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interdependence
  • globalized economy
  • collaborative work environments
  • crowd-sourced
  • empowered
  • perception
  • availability
  • autonomy
  • reliance
  • shifted
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