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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

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In today’s society, the
internet
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 plays a major role in making
people
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's daily lives easier.
However
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, spreading and consuming
information
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 from the
internet
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 has several drawbacks.
This
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 essay will explain the
problems
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 that may occur
due to
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 the use of the
internet
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 and offer some solutions. There are several
problems
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 caused by the
internet
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. First and foremost, using the
internet
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 to share our thoughts or
information
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 can often lead to misinformation. When communicating with
others
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 via the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
, we do not need to meet in person; we can simply reach
others
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 through our screens. Talking without face-to-face meetings may lead to a lack of understanding, which can result in consequences
such
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 as misunderstandings and resentment.
Furthermore
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, in
this
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 fast-paced era, the
internet
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 can pose cybersecurity threats that threaten personal data.
For instance
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,
people
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 with access to personal
information
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 may use it for criminal activities
such
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 as scamming and money laundering. Based on the several
problems
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 caused by the
internet
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, there are some solutions that may reduce the negative impact of using it.
First,
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we need to learn how to deliver
information
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 precisely because many
people
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 are confused about how to communicate effectively with
others
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 through text on social media. Learning these skills may help reduce misleading
information
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 from
others
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.
Secondly
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, the government and individuals should enhance and strengthen public data protection by investing in software.
Moreover
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, educating
people
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 to use strong passwords when logging into important accounts,
such
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 as bank accounts, may mitigate cyber threats.
To conclude
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, the
internet
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 changes the way
people
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 communicate with
others
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. In some cases, it causes negative consequences.
Nevertheless
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, as long as we can mitigate the risks wisely, the
internet
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 can be a powerful tool that helps
people
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 solve their
problems
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.

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task achievement
Your essay is very good overall, but providing more specific examples could boost your score. Try to give real-world instances to reinforce your points more convincingly.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured, you could consider using more cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases, to make the connections between sentences and paragraphs even clearer.
task achievement
You have clearly stated the problems associated with the internet and suggested practical solutions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with a strong introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your use of vocabulary and grammar is strong, enhancing the clarity and comprehensibility of your ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cybersecurity
  • phishing
  • identity theft
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • social isolation
  • internet addiction
  • data privacy
  • digital literacy
  • regulations
  • awareness programs
  • manipulate
  • proliferation
  • consent
  • escalated
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