These days there’s no need to go to the live performance (e.g: show or concert) because what we can see on TV or computer screen is better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
I strongly disagree with the idea that attending live
performances
is unnecessary because watching them on TV or computer screens is sufficient. Although
digital platforms are convenient, they simply can't capture the full essence of being present at a live event. Live performances
offer unique, irreplaceable experiences that are necessary to cultural and social life.
Firstly
, the atmosphere of a live performance is filled with an immediacy and vibrancy that digital screens cannot replicate. Take a concert, for example
, where the experience
of feeling the bass thump against your chest and seeing musicians pour their hearts out in real time
adds a layer of excitement and connection that a recorded version lacks. The spontaneity and interaction that come with live events greatly enhance their emotional impact, offering an engaging Add a hyphen
real-time
experience
that recorded formats often lack.
Moreover
, live performances
foster a sense of togetherness and shared experience
crucial for social bonding. Being part of an audience, sharing reactions and emotions at the moment, enriches the experience
and strengthens the community. This
shared cultural participation contrasts sharply with the solitary nature of watching performances
on a screen, where the dynamic atmosphere of being in a crowd is missing.
Economically, attending live events also
plays a crucial role in supporting the arts. As a case in point, purchasing tickets and spending on related activities like merchandise are vital for the financial health of artists and production teams. This
direct support ensures the sustainability of live performances
and encourages ongoing artistic innovation, enriching the cultural fabric of society.
In conclusion, while
digital media provides an accessible way to view performances
, it falls short of delivering the profound, collective, and impactful experience
that live events offer. The vibrancy, community interaction, and economic support associated with attending live performances
underscore their enduring value and necessity in enriching our lives.Submitted by netika5646 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized and supported with relevant examples. However, make sure each paragraph flows smoothly to keep readers engaged. Consider using more connective phrases and transitional words to further enhance cohesion.
task achievement
You effectively address the task and provide a comprehensive response. Ensure you maintain this level of detail throughout all parts of your essay to sustain a high band score.
task achievement
You offer clear and comprehensive ideas that address all aspects of the task. Your arguments are well-supported with relevant examples, such as the vivid description of a concert experience.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is commendable. Each paragraph flows logically into the next, creating a coherent argument overall.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are effectively written, providing a clear framework for your essay and summarizing your key points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.