These days there’s no need to go to the live performance (e.g: show or concert) because what we can see on TV or computer screen is better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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I strongly disagree with the idea that attending live

performances

is unnecessary because watching them on TV or computer screens is sufficient.

Although

digital platforms are convenient, they simply can't capture the full essence of being present at a live event. Live

performances

offer unique, irreplaceable experiences that are necessary to cultural and social life.

Firstly

, the atmosphere of a live performance is filled with an immediacy and vibrancy that digital screens cannot replicate. Take a concert,

for example

, where the

experience

of feeling the bass thump against your chest and seeing musicians pour their hearts out in

real time

Add a hyphen

real-time

show examples

adds a layer of excitement and connection that a recorded version lacks. The spontaneity and interaction that come with live events greatly enhance their emotional impact, offering an engaging

experience

that recorded formats often lack.

Moreover

, live

performances

foster a sense of togetherness and shared

experience

crucial for social bonding. Being part of an audience, sharing reactions and emotions at the moment, enriches the

experience

and strengthens the community.

This

shared cultural participation contrasts sharply with the solitary nature of watching

performances

on a screen, where the dynamic atmosphere of being in a crowd is missing. Economically, attending live events

also

plays a crucial role in supporting the arts. As a case in point, purchasing tickets and spending on related activities like merchandise are vital for the financial health of artists and production teams.

This

direct support ensures the sustainability of live

performances

and encourages ongoing artistic innovation, enriching the cultural fabric of society. In conclusion,

while

digital media provides an accessible way to view

performances

, it falls short of delivering the profound, collective, and impactful

experience

that live events offer. The vibrancy, community interaction, and economic support associated with attending live

performances

underscore their enduring value and necessity in enriching our lives.

Submitted by netika5646 on Sat Aug 31 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay is generally well-organized and supported with relevant examples. However, make sure each paragraph flows smoothly to keep readers engaged. Consider using more connective phrases and transitional words to further enhance cohesion.

task achievement

You effectively address the task and provide a comprehensive response. Ensure you maintain this level of detail throughout all parts of your essay to sustain a high band score.

task achievement

You offer clear and comprehensive ideas that address all aspects of the task. Your arguments are well-supported with relevant examples, such as the vivid description of a concert experience.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is commendable. Each paragraph flows logically into the next, creating a coherent argument overall.

coherence cohesion

Both the introduction and conclusion are effectively written, providing a clear framework for your essay and summarizing your key points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

303 words

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These days there’s no need to go to the live performance (e.g: show or concert) because what we can see on TV or computer screen is better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

It is believed that students at schools and universities can learn better via technology rather than with teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, there are a lot of students who commit suicide each year. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions?

As global trade increase, many goods including those we use in daily basis are produced in another country and have to be transport long distance. Do benefit of this trend outweigh disadvantages?