Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

There is ongoing contention whether

music

plays a significant role in strengthening

people

’s relationships regardless of their

cultures

and

age

. In

this

essay, I will completely agree with the view that

music

is a great instrument to

further

facilitate human connections, as

music

can cater to a wide range of

people

’s preferences

as well as

cultural differences.

To begin

, any type of

music

has the potential to attract

people

no matter what

age

they are currently at. To elaborate on

this

point,

although

there is a huge generation gap between parents and their children, particular

music

might appeal to all of them. Drawing on my experience, I used to be obsessed with a Japanese song that my parents would play in my teenage years, resulting in forming a closer relationship

due to

the common ground.

Therefore

music

could be one of the key ingredients to spur a relationship even if a wide

age

gap were to be observed. Another crucial aspect of

music

is its connection with culture.

In other words

music

is often likely to represent the core part of culture in a country. Taking Colombia

for example

, a certain type of

music

called Salusa is used for a variety of social occasions or parties. In their culture,

music

and dance are regarded as equally important as verbal communication.

For

this

reason, were

people

in a social gathering not to share any languages and

cultures

, they would be able to establish a relationship with one another as long as

people

are in favour of dance and

music

. In conclusion, I am completely on board with the perspective that

music

has the power to connect

people

who are in a different

age

group and

cultures

This

stems from the differences in

people

’s preferences towards

music

and the strong interconnection with

cultures

Submitted by artical5er7 on Mon Jan 01 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure logical flow and structure to connect ideas more cohesively throughout the essay. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

While addressing the task, make certain that the response is well-developed with substantial arguments, clear examples, and that it thoroughly addresses all parts of the prompt.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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The animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on laand and in sea l.What are the reasons and solutions?

the advantages and disadvantages of technology in education

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that chilren should go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.