Rising university fees and scares employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Due to
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high inflation around the world
the
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unemployment is a great issue faced by
people
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. Education is proving to be very expensive with a significant rise in
tution
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tuition

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fees. Some
people
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have suggested that Educational institutes should
subsitute
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substitute

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subjects related to arts so that the graduates have higher chances of getting a job. I completely agree with
this
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and in
this
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eassay
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essay

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, I will support my opinion with examples.
Firstly
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,
This
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approach will help students get
admissions
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admission

It seems that admissions may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in the subjects which will evidently prove to be useful for them.
For instance
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, more amount children will be able to get
in
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a doctorate degree as there will be more seats available for them.
Moreover
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, It will encourage students to
chose
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choose

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a more suitable profession for themselves. A study shows that there
is
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are

The singular verb form is does not seem to agree with the plural subject approximately 50 million patients. Consider changing the verb form.

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approximately 50 million patients in
india
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India

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with only 25 thousand doctors.
This
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strategy will help
in filling
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fill

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this
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void and more doctors will be available to treat patients.
On the other hand
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, Arts is
also
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a growing industry which
entertain
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entertains

The plural verb entertain does not appear to agree with the singular subject a growing industry. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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people
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through different types of Art.
For example
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, Movies are a type of art which consists of acting, producing and directing. Cinema is a huge industry and a home to numerous job
opporunities
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opportunities

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.
People
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often stereotype
this
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subject but it is a very essential part of their lives as it helps them to deal with stress with relaxing attributes. In conclusion, the suggestion of not teaching art subjects in universities is a great way to ensure employment in the future which will help
in
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apply

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control inflation. So I tend to agree with
this
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approach as it will prove to be successful.

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coherence cohesion
To strengthen your logical structure, ensure your arguments follow one another smoothly. Right now, some points seem a bit disjointed.
task achievement
Your task response is good but would benefit from a more balanced discussion of both sides of the argument. You can acknowledge the value of arts subjects while arguing your position more comprehensively.
task achievement
Work on clarity and comprehensiveness by expanding your key points with more detailed explanations.
coherence cohesion
Additionally, make sure to proofread your essay to avoid minor mistakes and improve overall readability.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction sets the context well and presents a clear stance on the topic.
relevant specific examples
Your essay includes relevant examples, particularly the example about the need for more doctors, which effectively supports your point.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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