Rising university fees and scares employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Due to

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high inflation around the world

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unemployment is a great issue faced by

people

Use synonyms

. Education is proving to be very expensive with a significant rise in

tution

Correct your spelling

tuition

fees. Some

people

Use synonyms

have suggested that Educational institutes should

subsitute

Correct your spelling

substitute

subjects related to arts so that the graduates have higher chances of getting a job. I completely agree with

this

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and in

this

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eassay

Correct your spelling

essay

, I will support my opinion with examples.

Firstly

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This

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approach will help students get

admissions

Fix the agreement mistake

admission

show examples

in the subjects which will evidently prove to be useful for them.

For instance

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, more amount children will be able to get

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apply

show examples

a doctorate degree as there will be more seats available for them.

Moreover

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, It will encourage students to

chose

Wrong verb form

choose

show examples

a more suitable profession for themselves. A study shows that there

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are

show examples

approximately 50 million patients in

india

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India

show examples

with only 25 thousand doctors.

This

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strategy will help

in filling

Wrong verb form

fill

show examples

this

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void and more doctors will be available to treat patients.

On the other hand

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, Arts is

also

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a growing industry which

entertain

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entertains

show examples

people

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through different types of Art.

For example

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, Movies are a type of art which consists of acting, producing and directing. Cinema is a huge industry and a home to numerous job

opporunities

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opportunities

People

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often stereotype

this

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subject but it is a very essential part of their lives as it helps them to deal with stress with relaxing attributes. In conclusion, the suggestion of not teaching art subjects in universities is a great way to ensure employment in the future which will help

Change preposition

apply

show examples

control inflation. So I tend to agree with

this

Linking Words

approach as it will prove to be successful.

irsamahmoodTue Sep 17 2024

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coherence cohesion

To strengthen your logical structure, ensure your arguments follow one another smoothly. Right now, some points seem a bit disjointed.

task achievement

Your task response is good but would benefit from a more balanced discussion of both sides of the argument. You can acknowledge the value of arts subjects while arguing your position more comprehensively.

task achievement

Work on clarity and comprehensiveness by expanding your key points with more detailed explanations.

coherence cohesion

Additionally, make sure to proofread your essay to avoid minor mistakes and improve overall readability.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction sets the context well and presents a clear stance on the topic.

relevant specific examples

Your essay includes relevant examples, particularly the example about the need for more doctors, which effectively supports your point.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Rising university fees and scares employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You recently went to visit a friend in their new home. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: tell your friend what you liked about his/her new house say what you did or enjoyed most about your stay with your friend suggest when and where you could meet your friend next

Some people say that history has little or nothing to offer, while others say that study the past helps the present. discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause stress, and how can we reduce it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

In developed countries, more and more people buy and use their cars. Do the advantages for people of cars using outweight its disadvantages on environment.