Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#sports #sky

There is a notion that

sports

,which are considered dangerous,should be prohibited.I completely disagree with

this

view,as it damages tourism in some regions and violates the

rights

of sportsmen. Banning extreme

sports

can seriously damage particular regions where businesses rely on providing opportunities for these activities.

For example

,bungee jumping and skiing,types of adrenaline

sports

, usually take place in mountainous areas,where there is a significant population residing with only

this

type of income.

Moreover

,these

sports

create a sense of identity and community for

people

living in remote areas.

However

,enacting prohibition for holding events related to extreme

sports

will lead to mass unemployment and movement to cities in search of new jobs.

While

I concede that it might be dangerous for the lives of citizens to participate in extreme

sports

,I believe it is an obvious act of violation of human

rights

.The right to choose how we spend our leisure time,even if it involves risk,is necessary for a free society.

People

should be able to choose and follow their interests without any interference from the government.

Instead

,the authority should take responsibility for ensuring the quality of equipment and encourage

people

to follow the safety rules.These acts from the government will make its citizens more informed about the dangers of

sports

and can lead to rational decisions without any violations of

rights

To conclude

,I believe that the approach of prohibiting participation in extreme

sports

would not only harm local economies and businesses but

also

violate individual's

rights

to choose.

Instead

of banning,the government should focus on ensuring the safety and awareness of its

people

rank it as in IELTS

Submitted by yerlepesov on Sun Sep 01 2024

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task achievement

Your response is clear and present throughout the essay. However, further elaboration on opposing views, alongside more specific examples, could enhance your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a good structure, with clear introduction and conclusion. Linking words and phrases could be varied to improve the flow of the text.

coherence cohesion

While your main points are strong and supported, further detail could make your argument even more compelling.

task achievement

The essay answers the prompt well and addresses the main points effectively.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear logical progression from one idea to the next, enhancing readability.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-defined and summarize the argument effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

adrenaline rush
risk threshold
thrill-seeking
safety protocols
hazard assessment
adventure tourism
regulatory framework
personal autonomy
informed consent
risk mitigation strategies
thrill-seeking behavior
protective gear
extreme athleticism
freedom of choice
accident prevalence
emergency response
courage and resilience
endorphin release
legal implications
peer pressure effects

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Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe online materials should only be used for children to learn to read. while other believe only printed reading materials should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

The bar shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days.

a lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems is is not managed correctly. describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. do you think that benefist of tourism outweight its drawbacks?