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Band 6.5

the chart below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in householdsin one country between 1920 and 2019.

the chart below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in householdsin one country between 1920 and 2019.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #householdsin #country
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The presented charts illustrate the proportion of households with electrical appliances and
also
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 the number of hours of housework per week in a country between 1920 and 2019. It is clearly seen that the percentage of households in all 3 categories had
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased ,
while
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 the number of hours had a downward trend (
negarive
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negative
 pattern). As can be seen, the washing machine
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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contributed around zero
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 at
first,
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then
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 it had
a
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apply
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significant growth and reached 100% in 1980 and
remaind
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remained
 the same
untill
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until
 2019.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
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 the
refrigrator
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refrigerator
 was 40% in 1920 , it rose to 70% in 1960 and after a minimal
declinein
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decline in
 1980, reached around 75% in 2019. The
vaccum
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vacuum
 cleaner was 30% at
first,
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then
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 it rose sharply and reached 100% in 2000 and remained the same until 2019.
According to
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 the second figure, the number of hours of
house
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housework
show examples
workwas
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was
 50 per week in 1920then it
dramaticly
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dramatically
 decreased and reached about 35 and 20 in 1940 and 1960, respectively,
then
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 it declined slightly and reached almost 10 in 2019.
Submitted by ghazal.seyedi95 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "first, ".
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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