IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Making
people
Use synonyms
's
lives
Use synonyms
 better should be the major reason for
science
Use synonyms
. I am in total agreement with
this
Linking Words
 view.
Firstly
Linking Words
, life is one thing that all humanity should fight for, especially, the
scientists
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
 in whatever they do, they should prioritise
people
Use synonyms
's
lives
Use synonyms
. On the one hand,
scientists
Use synonyms
 should aim to improve
people
Use synonyms
's
lives
Use synonyms
 in all areas. There are many diseases that just pop up and it is the duty of
science
Use synonyms
 to find cures for these to preserve the spread of same.
Therefore
Linking Words
, educating
people
Use synonyms
 about these will enhance
people
Use synonyms
's
lives
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, nurses are always guided to teach
people
Use synonyms
 in different communities about many upcoming viruses or diseases.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, children are immunised to protect them from the same. It is the
scientists
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' job to make sure that states are informed and educated about any issues that may be a distraction or cause trouble to the world or country.
In addition
Linking Words
, these can be environmental, agricultural or health issues.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is paramount for
science
Use synonyms
 to aim to improve and take care of
people
Use synonyms
's
lives
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some individuals who do not have a desire to improve other
people
Use synonyms
's
lives
Use synonyms
. Mainly, their drive is to make money.
Further
Linking Words
, they would rather have a life and make a profit out of it.
For example
Linking Words
, in India, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientists
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 who killed
people
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 and
made
Verb problem
did
show examples
 experiments on them
whereas
Linking Words
 others
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 their scientific experiments on rats or other small animals. In conclusion, I do agree that it is vital for
science
Use synonyms
 to make better other
people
Use synonyms
's
lives
Use synonyms
 by prioritising life and educating individuals.

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task achievement
While your argument is clear, expanding on your points will strengthen your response. Ensure that each key idea is fully developed with additional examples and explanations. This will help you achieve a higher grade in task achievement.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied and precise linking words and phrases. This will make your argument flow more smoothly and be easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This logical organization helps the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
The examples given, particularly the one about immunisation, effectively illustrate your points and make your argument more persuasive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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