The health benefits tof physical excercise are well-known. Despite this, a lot of people do not exercise regularly. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to encourage them to excercise more often?
The positive outcomes of physical
exercise
are widely known. However
, people
still do not exercise
often. This
essay will explore why people
are not engaged in sportive activities and what would be possible approaches to stimulate them to exercise
more regularly.
To begin
with, despite several well-known beneficial health concerns that improve the overall
health of a person through physical exercise
, individuals do not exercise
often. This
is generally because of the hard pressure of career life and responsibilities of family life that many people
prioritize and therefore
unfortunately challenges to finding time
to exercise
. For instance
, I have to manage my university studies and also
take care of my little brother which is a demanding responsibility , so taking into account these factors under similar circumstances, it will not be hard to imagine how difficult to find time
to exercise
regularly.
To address this
issue, providing the proper amount of time
and facilities for employees or students to exercise
during their free time
in their working areas could be an effective way to encourage people
to exercise
often. For example
, constructing a fitness centre in a company may have incentivised employees to exercise
more during their time
off. Moreover
, their health condition will get better by exercising regularly because of the widely known benefits of sportive activities.
In conclusion, although
the benefits of physical exercise
are known, people
are not involved regularly in such
activities because they cannot find time
due to
responsibilities in their family and career life. I suggest constructing more sports facilities that provide an opportunity for exercising , which could help individuals integrate physical activity into their daily routines.Submitted by Yasar Khan on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively, but try to provide more specific examples and elaborate on them to strengthen your arguments. The example about managing university studies and taking care of your little brother is good but could be expanded further.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly. Using transitional phrases or words like "Additionally," "Furthermore," and "Moreover" can make your writing more fluid.
general writing skills
Pay attention to minor grammatical and syntactical errors. For instance, "several well-known beneficial health concerns" should be "several well-known health benefits."
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps to convey your ideas effectively.
task achievement
You have effectively identified the reasons why people do not exercise and suggested practical solutions, showcasing a good understanding of the topic.
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