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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below show the information about a US bus company between 1999 and 2003.  Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below show the information about a US bus company between 1999 and 2003.  Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#minutes #show #information #bus #company #summarise #features #comparisons
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The pie charts compare the punctual
rate
Use synonyms
 of buses arriving between actual
performance
Use synonyms
 and target
performance
Use synonyms
 and illustrate the figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 passengers’ complaints from 1999 to 2003. It is evident that the target
performance
Use synonyms
 of buses arriving on time gradually dropped during the period
while
Linking Words
 the actual
performance
Use synonyms
 saw a fluctuation and
finally
Linking Words
 returned next to 80% in 2003. Apart from that, the complaints number presented an upward trend from 1999 to 2003. Looking at the information in more detail, in 1999, the actual
performance
Use synonyms
 of buses arriving on time was similar to the predicted one (around 80%). During the period from 2001 to 2002,
actual
Correct article usage
the actual
show examples
 punctual
rate
Use synonyms
 shared almost the same percentage (next to 40%), following with the figure in 2000 (about 30% ),
while
Linking Words
 the target
rate
Use synonyms
 remained
steadily
Change the word
steady
show examples
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
 40% from 2000 to 2003. 2003 witnessed a sharp rise in
actual
Correct article usage
the actual
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 (almost 78%), which presented the hugest gap between
actual
Add an article
the actual
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 and
predicted
Correct article usage
the predicted
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, we can see from the second pie chart,
the
Correct pronoun usage
that the
show examples
 number of
complains
Replace the word
complaints
show examples
 indicated an increasing trend throughout the five years.
Over all
Correct your spelling
Overall
show examples
, the number rose from 60 in 1999 to 120 in 2003.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, performance with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "presented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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