Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays,
people
have mixed views on whether
adults
should allow young
people
to make
mistakes
. Some
people
believe that
adults
should forbid minors from making errors,
while
others disagree. In
this
essay, I will discuss both views
along with
my stance. The potential negative even severe consequences caused by youngsters' fault might be the main account for
people
who are casting a negative vote. To illustrate, the ignorance of non-educated kids may result in hazardous situations. Consider the scenario, that a four-year-old boy uses a burning candle to burn tissue to make the house brighter, leading to a fire which will possibly burn the entire community. The limitation in cognitive competence might restrict them from realizing possible dangers, triggering detrimental loss in health and wealth.
Furthermore
, some teenagers might deliberately commit crimes simply because they already know that laws are permissive to them, not only provoking social instability like violence but harming their developing ethical principles. In
this
case, deterring the younger generation from making
mistakes
will reduce considerable detriments and regulate their progression from infancy to adulthood.
On the other hand
,
however
, it is natural instincts that drive the young to stumble into blunders, which may benefit their growth. Youths' learning could be possibly facilitated by their oversight as they experienced the tastes of failure which might deepen their reflections on the loss. The invaluable learning from
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
mistakes
could provide possible solutions that prohibit them from committing the same mistake. Meanwhile, gaining insights from bad incidents may
also
comply with young
adults
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
cognitive procedure, building fundamental knowledge which will benefit their life-long learning. From my perspective, children's behaviour should be supervised by
adults
, allowing minor
mistakes
which can benefit them
while
stopping them before
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
loss happens. Only in
this
way can we allow students to grow in a scientific process.
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Grammar and Syntax
Work on refining sentence structure and grammar to minimize minor errors. This will improve the overall fluency and readability of your essay.
Detail and Development
Expand upon your examples and explanations to create a more comprehensive response. When you discuss potential consequences or benefits, provide more detailed scenarios or further justify your points.
Structure and Clarity
Aim for a slightly clearer differentiation between the two viewpoints in your body paragraphs to enhance logical structure. Make sure each paragraph is less densely packed to improve clarity and readability.
Introduction and Conclusion
The essay presents a clear and well-developed introduction and conclusion, setting the stage and summarizing the main points effectively.
Task Response
The ideas presented are relevant to the task and offer a balanced discussion of both viewpoints.
Use of Examples
The essay offers specific examples which support the main arguments, helping to illustrate the points being made.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom to make mistakes
  • critical thinking skills
  • lifelong learning
  • guided learning environment
  • resilience
  • independence
  • overprotective
  • dependency
  • problem-solving skills
  • confidence
  • negative consequences
  • learning process
  • personal growth
  • trial and error
  • balance safety and learning
  • development
  • support and guidance
  • empowerment
  • risk-taking
  • life lessons
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