It is more important for school children to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The debate surrounding the inclusion of national versus global

history

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in educational curricula is a multifaceted one. I advocate for a balanced curriculum that encompasses both local and international historical narratives. Primarily, the significance of national

history

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cannot be overstated; it is the bedrock of a

nation’s

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identity. An in-depth understanding of local

history

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can foster a profound sense of patriotism and national pride among

students

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. Take,

for instance

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, the youth of Vietnam. By delving into the valiant struggles endured by their forebears for national sovereignty, they are likely to cultivate a fervent patriotic spirit and a commitment to contribute to the

nation’s

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progress.

Conversely

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, an exclusive focus on national

history

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may lead to a myopic worldview. A comprehensive study of global

history

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enables

students

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to place their

nation’s

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narrative within a wider context, promoting a balanced and informed perspective.

For example

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, Vietnamese

students

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exposed to the intricate geopolitical dynamics and international influences shaping their

history

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are better equipped to form a nuanced understanding, rather than a constricted interpretation of their

nation’s

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past.

Furthermore

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, familiarity with the historical journeys of other nations fosters cultural empathy and acceptance of diverse beliefs, practices, and governance systems.

This

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global awareness is invaluable, particularly as

students

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enter increasingly international professional spheres, where cultural sensitivity and adaptability are paramount. In summation,

while

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the teaching of national

history

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is undeniably important, it is imperative to integrate a global historical perspective.

This

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approach not only enriches

students

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’ comprehension of their own heritage but

also

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prepares them to navigate and appreciate the complexities of our interconnected world.

Submitted by weezel on Tue Jun 11 2024

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coherence cohesion

Provide a clearer distinction between your main points in the body paragraphs to enhance readability.

task achievement

Add more examples to strengthen your argument further and illustrate your points more vividly.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is exemplary, with smooth transitions between ideas.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a coherent entry and exit to your argument.

task achievement

Your use of specific examples, like the reference to Vietnamese students, enriches your arguments and makes them more persuasive.

task achievement

You completely address the task, presenting a balanced view with clear and comprehensive ideas about both local and global history.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

259 words

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It is more important for school children to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In modern era, it is easy to sell, buy and work with other people through internet. But others against it. Do you think this is positive trend or negative trend.

Students are becoming more and more reliant on the Internet. While the Internet is convenient, it has many negative effects and its use for educational purposes should be restricted. How far do you agree with this statement?

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?