Working long hours can cause a great deal of stress and can be very bad for health. The government must find a way to reduce this type of stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Long hours of they might achieve more productivity than before.
work
are very bad for health and starting
point of Correct article usage
the starting
stress
. The government should work
on this
issue and find some way to release stress
. Although
, people should try to reduce their stress
by themselves.
Working will affect on person’s health when it grows from the limit, and also
lots of workers suffer from stress
. That’s why a lot of workers are struggling with long hours of work
. They believe the administration must find ways to help them. Especially, they should work
on working hours and they must give a little break while
they are working. By this
employees
can relax and can get some energy to work
again. For example
, in China, employees
step away from work
for a few minutes to increase their productivity, job satisfaction, mental health and well-being,
and are Remove the comma
apply
overall
more engaged in their work
.
However
, the government can not help all the time, because every worker has their own way of releasing stress
someone reduces his stress
by going outside and another one releases it by reading books. That’s why they should come up with ways to reduce it by themselves. For instance
, In America, employees
carry lovely things which can help them reduce stress
. They books, journals or antidepressants. By this
, they are able to reduce easily their stress
and energy to work
again.
In conclusion, the government must create a friendly atmosphere for employees
to work
better and workers should try to release their stress
by themselves. By this
Add a comma
,
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction improvement
Strengthen your thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your position on the topic. This helps in establishing a clear direction for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and use transitions to link ideas smoothly between sentences and paragraphs.
task response
Provide more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your main points, as this will enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
task response
You have addressed the prompt and presented ideas on both sides of the argument.
conclusion strength
Your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively, providing a clear closing to the essay.
logical structure
The essay shows logical progression in the argument from problem to solution.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?