IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people claim that it is justifiable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while others argue that it is unethical. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some would argue that the
use
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 of
animals
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 in science for
people
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people's
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advantages
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advantage
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 is necessary because is not possible to
use
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 humans for
this
Linking Words
porpoise
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purpose
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. Others say
that is
Linking Words
 a non-ethical activity because
animals
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 have rights. I believe that the
use
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 of laboratory
animals
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 under
humanely
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human
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conditions
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avoiding
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to avoid
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sufferings
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suffering
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 is possible. On one hand, there are a lot of
controverses
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controversies
controversy
 about the
use
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 of
animals
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 in
research
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 for human benefits because
,
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apply
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 some people think that
the
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apply
show examples
animals
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 have rights and is unethical to
use
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 them for humans’
benefits
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benefit
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, different organizations
such
Linking Words
 as
P.E.T.A
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P.E.T.A.
 and environmentalists, fight
in
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for
show examples
animal’s
Change noun form
animal
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defense
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defence
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 and they
trye
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try
 to impose their positions in
violent
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a violent
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 way
burning
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by burning
show examples
vivarium
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vivariums
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 to avoid
research
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 activities.
However
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, I believe that these acts do not solve the problem, and
scientist
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scientists
show examples
 going to continue using
animals
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 because is legal.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
use
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 of laboratory
animals
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 in
research
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 is legal and necessary because is impossible to test drugs in humans. It is true that all these activities should be done under
humanity
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human
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conditions
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 and, following rules of animal welfare avoiding suffering and unnecessary deaths.
For example
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,
pharmaceutical
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the pharmaceutical
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 industry has
big
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a big
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 vivarium where rats and mice are raised in very good
conditions
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 for
use
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them
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apply
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in experiments.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, rats are physiologically close to humans so, is well known their
use
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 in
research
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 for human benefits. In conclusion,
also
Linking Words
 destroying laboratories and
vivarium
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vivariums
show examples
 to avoid animal
use
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 in science activities, there are a lot of welfare rules to follow to avoid suffering and unnecessary deaths. Even the
animals
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 are
raising
Wrong verb form
raised
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 in very good
conditions
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.

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task achievement
Your essay adequately addresses the topic and explores both perspectives, but the main points can be more clearly supported with specific examples and details. Consider elaborating on your points further to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is coherent, you can improve the logical flow by using more transitional words and phrases. This will help in connecting your ideas more smoothly. Also, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is well-supported.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This is a good practice and helps in organizing your thoughts.
task achievement
Your writing reflects a balanced discussion of both views, which is essential in addressing this topic effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ethical considerations
  • moral dilemma
  • animal rights
  • alternative methods
  • computer modeling
  • in-vitro testing
  • medical breakthroughs
  • vaccines
  • treatments
  • stringent regulations
  • minimization of suffering
  • humane treatment
  • scientific validity
  • biological similarity
  • applicable results
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