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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many museums charge for admission, while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people
A number of museums require an entrance fee,
while
 others are free to enter.
Although
 it is advantageous for visitors not to be charged, I believe that
this
 policy has drawbacks for
museum
 operators because they need to maintain the exhibitions and pay salaries to employees. Making
museum
admission
 free certainly attracts more visitors.
This
 means that the information about the exhibits will spread more quickly among the public, thereby enhancing the visibility of what is currently on display.
Consequently
, even if visitors do not spend any money to see the showrooms, they may still purchase some merchandise,
such
 as souvenirs.
As a result
,
this
 approach could be beneficial in terms of generating revenue from the increasing sales of books or postcards but not from
admission
 fees;
however
, statistically, few are inclined to make
such
 expenditures.
Nonetheless
, I believe that maintaining at least a nominal price for
admission
 could strike an optimal balance. No matter how well-maintained and well-known the
museum
 is, it still requires ongoing maintenance and salaries for the staff. The higher the number of people who visit the facility, the more worn it becomes. To manage
this
, a significant number of skilled workers with a variety of professions are necessary.
Additionally
, exhibition items like paintings often require a specific way to prevent their deterioration.
For example
, the Dallas
Museum
 of Nature has an immense exposition, and it is
admission
-free;
however
, it is supported by the local authorities, and some of the major maintenance expenses are covered.
Nevertheless
,
such
 support is not always possible, and cultural organizations might have more drawbacks than benefits. In conclusion,
while
 the public benefits from free
admission
 to
museum
 showrooms,
this
 arrangement may not be sustainable for operators because they will lose an additional source of income.
Submitted by serginio.nick on

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coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and engagement.
coherence cohesion
Utilize paragraphs effectively to separate different points for better clarity.
task achievement
Make sure to directly address the question prompt in your introduction for a stronger response.
general
Incorporating a wider range of vocabulary would enrich your essay and potentially increase your score.
content
Your essay presents a well-balanced view between the advantages and disadvantages of free museum admission, demonstrating good analytical thinking.
content
You have made a good effort to support your points with relevant examples, aiding the overall persuasive strength of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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