Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people hold different views about whether it is necessary to compete in the working field, in studying and
also
on a daily basis or whether we should encourage to maintain cooperation
. Both views have valid points, and it is crucial to examine their merits and drawbacks before forming an opinion.
On the one hand, competition contributes to motivation in trying to achieve a target. In the workplace employees with having competitive spirit are likely to perform themselves in order to earn rewards. As a result
, they are more diligent and hard-working than others. At school, pupils may push themselves harder to get higher grades, therefore
, their knowledge and outcome are enhanced. Additionally
, in daily life, competitive sports not only help people achieve success but also
improve motivation so that they have to practise a lot. Thus
, they keep fit and stay healthy.
On the other hand
, cooperation
has a huge benefit for humans. In the office, working together contributes to strengthening relationships between colleagues and creating a harmonious environment. In academic settings, schools that encourage teamwork may help students Develop essential social skills and empathy. Furthermore
, friendships between classmates are also
tightened. In daily use, cooperation
can boost community spirit and ensure resources are used more efficiently, especially in team sports.For example
, in the Sea Games 2019, besides
skilled techniques, the Vietnam football team also
had a high united spirit, for
this
reason, Vietnam achieved the win against the Indonesia football team.
In conclusion, I believe that a balance between competition and cooperation
plays an important role in many fields.Submitted by ng.hg.ly28 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay would benefit from a bit more development in the body paragraphs. Although your main points are clear and relevant, providing more specific examples and deeper analysis would strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your points are generally well-connected, but some transitions can be smoother. For example, the transition between discussing competition and cooperation could be more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Watch for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For instance, the phrase 'employees with having competitive spirit' can be improved to 'employees with a competitive spirit.'
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view by discussing both competition and cooperation, which shows you understand both sides of the argument.
task achievement
The examples you provided, especially the Sea Games 2019, effectively support your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?