IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

People naturally resist making changes in their lives. what kind of problems can this cause? what solutions can you suggest?

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It is human nature to resist changes and continue norms without questioning and doubting. People are afraid to
change
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 anything as they are quite doubtful about the consequences and since they are hesitant to get out of their comfort zone. But I believe
change
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 is mandatory and it is inevitable whether you like it or not.
However
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, resistance can put a severe strain on general and personal development. From what I see, the main problem that can be caused by people being reluctant to
change
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 is that it slows the growth as a whole. Only
change
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 can introduce development.
Furthermore
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, citizens need to embrace changes in order to move forward.
For instance
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, When the Internet was introduced back in the early 90s, it was a
change
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 no one anticipated. The Internet was an introduction that humans were reluctant to experience, and it was something many banned from using as many believed it to be harmful. But today, it has become something a man cannot live without and is a positive discovery that happened on Earth.
Hence
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 it is obvious that resistance could sometimes cause negative effects even though it is our nature.
On the other hand
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, in order to mitigate the dislikes, the obvious solution is to create awareness and educate about the positive outcomes. Ignorance is the main seed that generates hesitations.
Such
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 hesitations could ascend
further
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 which could create discomfort. To avoid
such
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 negative scenarios, it is important to educate everyone on the changes and the outcomes that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 could create.
Furthermore
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, conduct demonstrations if possible.
This
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 will relieve and generate trust in the differences that a
change
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 could introduce.
For example
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, if people knew that the Internet could provide
such
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 convenience and that it is safer than imagined,
then
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 it would have had more improvements than before. In conclusion, ignorance and hesitation to get out of the comfort zone can result in a reluctance to
change
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 which could pause or stop general development in the society and world as a whole. But with education and demonstration, it can be omitted and make humans welcome
change
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 with a bit more positivity.

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task achievement
Try to further develop examples and make sure they directly relate to the main point. This will strengthen the support for your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking words and phrases to ensure a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a solution.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples, such as the introduction of the Internet, which helps clarify your points.
task achievement
Your main ideas are clear and comprehensive, focusing well on the problems and solutions related to resisting change.
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