Some people believe that younger generations can learn a lot about how to be good members of society from older generations. Others think it is better for younger people to get advice on how to be a good citizen from their peers. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some argue that there is a lot of learning scope for young
people
if they listen to elders, while
others suggest that listening to someone from the same age group helps them become good citizens. While
a piece of friendly advice
from a fellow makes the younger folks listen, taking advice
from adults helps shape personalities for the better.
Students listen to good bits of advice
from their friends and even follow them because they share a strong bond. They are more comfortable opening up with each other because of the amount of time spent together. They share the secrets with one another which is not talked about with anyone else. This
level of comfort allows them to trust and hence
, listen to anything the opposite person would say. For example
, renowned Indian actor Sanjay Dutt was able to let go of his drug addiction because of his friend's constant counselling. However
, even if we assume that most advice
is for the better of an individual, there is still only a limited set of information a young boy can give to his friend due to
the lack of worldly experiences.
This
is where the adults come into the picture. They have a rich understanding of people
, cultures and places. Based on these, they can determine the difference between right and wrong, and even the grey areas. Their maturity allows them to look at a problem through different lenses. Hence
, they become the right guide for a child's overall
development and in turn, shape them to become a decent individual in society. For instance
, infants all around the world growing up without a father figure turn out to be more aggressive than the others. This
is why having an elderly person as your guide when you're growing up ultimately leads you to be an ideal person.
In conclusion, although
young people
take pieces of advice
from their friends, this
cannot help them to be decent members of society. Instead
, they should always turn to older people
as they have gone more through their lives.Submitted by majumdarnilesh21 on
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task achievement
Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to outline the main points of your essay. This can help guide your argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Work on the transitions between ideas to make the essay flow more smoothly. Linking phrases and connectors can help to better structure your arguments and improve overall readability.
task achievement
While your points are generally clear, incorporating a wider range of specific examples can strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion could be expanded to more clearly summarize the entire essay and restate the thesis in a way that reinforces your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views on the topic, providing a balanced discussion which is essential for a good task response.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and generally serve their purpose of setting the stage and wrapping up the discussion.
task achievement
Your examples, such as the story of Sanjay Dutt, are engaging and help to illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally follows a logical structure, and your main points are relatively well-supported by your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?