IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that once a person becomes a criminal, he will always be a criminal. Do you agree with this statement? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#people #person #support
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Some individuals think that if someone has once committed a
crime
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 , he or she will repeat it, as they stay a criminal forever.
This
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 essay completely disagrees with that statement, owing to the type of
crime
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 and individual characteristics of a
person
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. Many
people
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 who have committed a
crime
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 even once, face many problems in their lives after serving a sentence.
This
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 is because their authority gets decreased and many
people
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 judge them, as they live with the idea that if a
person
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was
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is
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 a criminal, nothing changes - they will stay a criminal forever. But actually,
this
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 is not true. Some
people
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 become
criminals
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by
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in
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 the situation,
although
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 they
did
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do
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 not want it,
for example
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,
person
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 X can beat
person
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 Y during the fight and because of the
injury
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injury,
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 that
person
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 may die, which will automatically make
person
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 X a criminal. Sometimes
criminals
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 are even not guilty, but they cannot talk about that because of different reasons,
for example
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, they may be blackmailed with the lives of their family members and so on. These
people
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 are officially
criminals
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, but in fact, they are not. From that, we can understand that they will not always be
criminals
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 as they even were not ever. The TV channel namely NTV interviewed 250
criminals
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, 111 said that they were not guilty and would never do something illegal,
while
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 139 admitted their guilt and 122 of them promised that they would never commit a
crime
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 again.
However
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, committing a
crime
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 for the
second,
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third and even more times depends on personality very much. Various individuals have different characters. Punishment can affect
criminals
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 differently. Some of them may understand that they should
change
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 their lifestyle and be far from illegal actions, meanwhile, other
criminals
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 will never ever
change
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 and will do the same when they get free. Society should not think that
if
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apply
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one criminal is unchangeable, all of them are.
Furthermore
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, most of the
criminals
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 tend to
change
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 rather than commit a
crime
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 again. Again,
according to
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 the first example,
total
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a total
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 of 233 out of 250
criminals
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 promised to
change
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 and not repeat their actions again.
To conclude
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,
this
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 essay does not support the idea that
criminals
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 always stay
criminals
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, as staying a criminal or not depends on the type of
crime
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 and the criminal's personality.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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task achievement
Consider using more varied vocabulary and improving sentence structures to make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all your points are consistently and logically developed throughout the essay for better readability.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with grammatical accuracy and punctuation to improve the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear argument against the statement, providing relevant examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is generally maintained, allowing the reader to follow the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rehabilitation
  • reintegration
  • recidivism
  • therapy
  • stigmatization
  • reoffending
  • accountability
  • support programs
  • proactive steps
  • personal choice
  • societal barriers
  • reform
  • transformation
  • opportunities
  • environment
  • social support
  • success stories
  • examples
  • criminal behavior
  • stereotype
What to do next:
Look at other essays: