some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some
students
have demanded the addition of other Use synonyms
subjects
to their main courses, Use synonyms
while
others contend that they have to prioritize their major-related Linking Words
subjects
. Use synonyms
Although
I acknowledge the benefits of the former approach, I have an inclination toward the latter group.
Adding extracurricular Linking Words
subjects
offers creativity and life balance. Use synonyms
Firstly
, studying other materials can open one's horizons and unlock doors into uncharted territories where Linking Words
individuals
would be able to foster their innovation and creativity. These invaluable abilities can help Use synonyms
individuals
to stand apart from their peers and surpass them in professional settings. Take Steve Jobs, Use synonyms
for instance
; his insatiable curiosity encouraged him to attend calligraphy classes. Linking Words
This
unrelated skill later became the primary motive for the distinguishable design of iPhone's apps. Linking Words
Additionally
, it is argued that doing artistic and sportive activities replenishes Linking Words
individuals
' energy sources and lowers their heightened stress level caused by the rigorous syllabus. These activities help Use synonyms
individuals
get away from the daily grind and focus on something less stressful for a Use synonyms
while
, ultimately encouraging a more balanced lifestyle.
Linking Words
However
, the lack of time and little value these unrelated Linking Words
subjects
offer have constrained their addition to the university's curricula. Use synonyms
Students
' schedules are already condensed, and adding extra materials would only bring about negative impacts on their health and later economic achievement. Use synonyms
Students
have to manage studying and researching, Use synonyms
along with
attending lectures during their university years. Linking Words
Therefore
, adding other Linking Words
subjects
only demands extra work, ultimately necessitating Use synonyms
students
to lessen their sleeping hours and force them to abandon their leisure time activities. Use synonyms
This
unbalanced approach can cause anxiety and depression in the long run. Linking Words
Moreover
, by shortening lecture times in order to make way for other Linking Words
subjects
, professors are obliged to omit a significant portion of information. Use synonyms
As a result
, Linking Words
students
will not get an adequate education and will not be equipped with the essential skills demanded in professional settings. Use synonyms
Hence
, without the required skills, they will be forced to opt for jobs with lower incomes.
In conclusion, the potential drawbacks of adding extra Linking Words
subjects
outweigh its benefits. Use synonyms
Therefore
, I am of the opinion that Linking Words
students
should focus on their studies related to their Use synonyms
qualification
.Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
Submitted by ghazalmoosavi79 on
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task response
Your essay presents a balanced discussion of both views, which effectively addresses the task. However, try to elaborate a bit more on each viewpoint to enrich your analysis further.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and transitions smoothly to maintain flow and coherence. This will help in making the essay even easier to follow.
introduction conclusion
Your essay provides a clear introduction that presents the issue and your opinion succinctly, which is a strength of effective writing.
task response
You have successfully used a relevant example (Steve Jobs) to support your point, which enhances the task response significantly.