IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#people #experimentation #animals #discoveries #experiments #alternatives
Animal experimentation has been debated for a long time.
While
 some argue that testing on
animals
 is unjust and should be restricted, many believe that without the small sacrifice of
animals
, humanity would not be able to progress. In my view, animal experimentation can be justified in certain cases, but alternative methods should be used whenever they are available and effective. On the one hand, many
animals
 suffered from violent
experiment
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experiments
show examples
, resulting in pain and death. Some
suggests
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suggest
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 that the concept of
inhuman
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inhumane
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 for laboratory
animals
 is injustice, as they have the right to stay alive and should be respected,
particulary
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particularly
 in
unnessesary
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unnecessary
propose
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proposals
show examples
.
For example
, cosmetic
test
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tests
show examples
in
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on
show examples
animals
,
driving
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driven
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 by social
standard
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standards
show examples
,
has
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have
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 been highly controversial as
it
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they
show examples
 often
leads
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lead
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 to non-essential products and animal suffering.
Furthermore
,
animal's
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animal
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 anatomy
differ
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differs
show examples
 from
human
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humans
show examples
 can cause an unreliable result.
On the other hand
, animal experiments contribute to many important scientific
breakthouroughs
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breakthroughs
,
particulary
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particularly
 in the medical field.
For instance
, many life-saving drugs and treatments
such
 as
vaccine
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vaccines
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 and penicillin, were developed from animal testing
process
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processes
show examples
. Without these experiments, humanity might have
face
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faced
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 a bigger
lost
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loss
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.
Therefore
, its potential has justified that animal
experiment
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experiments
show examples
 could be used for humankind when no other choice.
Additionally
, the controlled environment
provide
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provided
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 by animal
experiment
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experiments
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 is
also
 useful in studying complex
disease
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diseases
show examples
.
However
, there are alternatives to animal testing that are becoming more advanced.
For instance
,
computer-base
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computer-based
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 simulating
experiment
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experiments
show examples
, In-vitro testing
offer
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offers
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 precise results without the need for animal suffering.
Goverment
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Government
 should take
reposibility
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responsibility
 to
pioritize
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prioritise
 and invest
the
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in the
show examples
 advancement
in
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of
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alternative
Add an article
an alternative
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 scientific
experiment
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experiments
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, which could one day replace all the undesirable former
method
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methods
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. In summary,
while
 animal experimentation can be justified in certain legal research cases,
while
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apply
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it should be limited and used only when necessary. Improving alternative methods
provide
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provides
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beneficial
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benefits
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 for
mandkind
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mankind
 and adorable animal
lifes
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lives
show examples
.
Submitted by sippakorn.wet on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and addresses both sides of the argument effectively. However, some sentences cloud the clarity of your points. Ensure that your arguments are consistently clear and easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
A greater variety of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures will enhance your essay. Try to use transitional words and phrases to create a smoother flow between ideas.
language use
Carefully proofread your essay for spelling and grammatical errors. Improving the accuracy of language use will make your argument more compelling and easier to read.
introduction
The introduction clearly states your position, setting a clear direction for the essay.
support examples
You successfully include relevant examples to support your ideas, which adds depth to your arguments.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance, providing a satisfactory closing to the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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