IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe use of computers and smartphones negatively impacts the reading and speaking skills of young people.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Numerous technological developments have established and impacted
people
Use synonyms
, particularly
computers
Use synonyms
 and smartphones. Some individuals claim that using them will adversely affect the reading and speaking abilities of young ages. In my opinion, I oppose that perspective because I believe using
computers
Use synonyms
 and smartphones will bring some benefits
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their
skills
Use synonyms
. Young
people
Use synonyms
 can access countless resources freely for reading by using those devices,
such
Linking Words
 as e-book platforms. They will be exposed to various interesting
books
Use synonyms
 as those
books
Use synonyms
 can attract them to read more.
For instance
Linking Words
, most students often utilize their
computers
Use synonyms
 or phones to find materials to be read that may suit their interests easily,
thus
Linking Words
 they will be able to enjoy reading anywhere without having to look for many
books
Use synonyms
 in the library, which is inconvenient for them.
As a result
Linking Words
, their reading
skills
Use synonyms
 will be sharpened because they will invest more time in reading.
Hence
Linking Words
, if they find intriguing online materials, they will have better literacy
skills
Use synonyms
 as they continuously read them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
computers
Use synonyms
 and cell phones can
also
Linking Words
 create extensive channels for communication. These will enable young ages to engage with other
people
Use synonyms
 even
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a distance since they can simply do online meetings or make phone calls, which can certainly influence their speaking abilities because they can build a conversation effectively with others. One of my friends,
for example
Linking Words
, regularly uses online sites through her computer or phone to study and play games
together with
Linking Words
 foreigners.
Consequently
Linking Words
, she becomes a sociable person because it enhances her confidence to talk with other
people
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I consider that utilizing
computers
Use synonyms
 and smartphones would undoubtedly lead to positive impacts for young
people
Use synonyms
 because they can seek their favourite
books
Use synonyms
, which makes them drawn to reading, and they can
also
Linking Words
 cultivate their speaking
skills
Use synonyms
 by having a place to interact with others.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Consider varying sentence structures to enhance the fluency of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next for better cohesion.
task achievement
Try providing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
The introduction clearly outlines your position on the topic, making it easy for readers to understand your viewpoint.
task achievement
The essay maintains a clear focus on the impact of technology on young people's reading and speaking skills, providing a complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence, indicating a logical structure throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: