Some people believe that life in a big city is difficult while others say that it is more convenient.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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A big city is often regarded as a place that shapes the future of the younger generation.
While
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some believe that mega-urban
areas
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offer better facilities, others hold a different view. In my opinion, big
cities
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are ideal for youngsters seeking self-improvement;
however
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, they may not be the best option for retirement. It is argued that living in metropolitan
cities
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comes with several challenges.
To begin
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with, the cost of living in mega-
cities
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is generally higher compared to rural
areas
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.
For instance
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, urban dwellers in Indonesia,
such
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as those in Jakarta and Surabaya—the two largest
cities
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in the country—typically need around three million rupiah per month to cover basic needs like food, drink, and transportation.
By contrast
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, those living in rural
areas
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might spend about two million rupiah for the same expenses.
Additionally
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, finding a suitable
job
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in mega-
cities
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can be difficult without the necessary skill set or academic qualifications. The
job
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markets in big
cities
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tend to be more competitive than in smaller towns, making it essential for individuals to master certain skills or obtain qualifications to secure employment. Opportunities in sectors like retail, electronics, and private
education
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often require well-qualified candidates with degree certificates.
Therefore
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, both the high cost of living and the competitive
job
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market are significant challenges of urban life.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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clear advantages to living in big
cities
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. One major benefit is access to superior public facilities
such
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as healthcare centres and schools, which provide opportunities for better
education
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and medical services.
For example
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, most of the top universities, like Oxford University in England and UGM University in Indonesia, are located in city centres.
Consequently
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, moving to a big city may be the best option for someone seeking a higher quality of
education
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.
Moreover
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, many big
cities
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boast advanced healthcare facilities
due to
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their high-quality human resources and state-of-the-art medical equipment, which is often imported from other countries.
Thus
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, these advantages,
such
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as improved
education
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and healthcare systems, are primary reasons for urbanization. From my perspective, living in big
cities
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is the most suitable choice for young people who want to develop themselves.
Cities
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offer better educational and
job
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opportunities.
However
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, when it comes to retirement, rural
areas
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or villages are more desirable
due to
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their cleaner air and stronger family bonds, which help to prevent loneliness. In conclusion,
while
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some argue that big
cities
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provide significant advantages in terms of public amenities, others contend that the high cost of living and the difficulty of finding a
job
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in these
areas
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are challenging. I firmly believe that big
cities
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play a crucial role in helping young people acquire a better
education
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and advance their careers;
nonetheless
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, they are not the most suitable choice for the older generation to retire.
Submitted by salwafahanim on

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task achievement
To elevate your essay to a higher band, consider providing more nuanced arguments and examples to strengthen your case. Adding a counter-argument or addressing possible objections could also showcase depth in your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases will further enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and compelling introduction and conclusion, which ties your arguments together effectively.
task achievement
Your points are well-supported with relevant and specific examples, making your arguments more persuasive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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